...it's off to high-risk I go!
I'll be heading to the hospital today until Dumplin' arrives. This is a precautionary measure. And while I'm sad and don't look forward to staring at the same four walls, I'm so thankful to have a doctor who is conservative and on top of things.
Saturday, I took the girls to Walmart to get school supplies. Now let me just pause here and say that I never do these kinds of things early, but Jessica was persistent so off we went. And what a blessing that I have already purchased Emma Grace's uniforms for the school year, too. It's taken care of and Gib won't have to deal with it. Praise the Lord for His blessings, big and small!
Anyway, as we were casually taking our time in the store, I had the worst pain in my abdomen. It literally felt like my uterus was splitting right down the middle. It was so painful that I could hardly put one foot in front of the other. We bought what we had, and Jessica helped get everything in the car. Once I sat down I felt a bit better, but it continued to hurt. I drove the 15 minute drive home and promptly went to bed, where I stayed for about three hours. The pain subsided, and I didn't call Dr. Joe. The pain has come back once at almost the same intensity but not quite. The last couple of days, I've had twinges here and there of the pain and pulling sensation.
So, at my appointment with Dr. Joe yesterday, I thought I was in the clear. Dumplin' produced a great heart rate strip for his NST, and my cervix looked great on ultrasound.
But then I told him about the pain.
His demeanor changed, and I could see (almost hear) his wheels turning. But I wasn't prepared for what came next...
I measured 37cm yesterday which isn't too terribly big considering I'll be 33 weeks tomorrow. But I am big, Dumplin' is big and VERY active. I have LOTS and LOTS of braxton-hicks contractions (the practice ones) with some real ones mixed in. Dr. Joe is concerned with all of those things, combined with the pain I'm having in my middle uterus, that my uterus might rupture. I'm at risk for this because I have an old fashioned, classical incision on my uterus from Emma Grace being born so emergently at 25 weeks.
Dr. Joe looked around my uterus with ultrasound and saw nothing alarming, but he sure did keep feeling and poking around on my abdomen. I asked him if it felt okay, and his response was, "Yeah, it's okay." I got the feeling that something he felt was a bit off, but he didn't want to alarm me, too. I feel like if it was great he would have said so. It wasn't long after that he mentioned the hospital.
He told me that if I had called him from where I live (45 minutes from the hospital) and told him the kind of pain I was having, he would have "freaked out". He said with a uterine rupture that far away, there's no chance of saving the baby and it's very dangerous for me, too. If I was in the hospital parking lot, it would still be too far away. But if I'm on the high risk unit, "there's a fighting chance if something were to happen".
So, off to high-risk I go sometime today. I think if I had not had the girls with me yesterday, Dr, Joe might have gone ahead and admitted me. He didn't give me a specific time to be there, and I'm not in a hurry. I haven't packed. Instead, last night I spent time with my family, got the laundry caught up, and made lists of how to do things around here for Gib and the girls. Things are not perfect and exactly in order the way I would like them to be for the next few weeks, but I've had to step back and examine my priorities. And a perfectly clean, orderly house is NOT at the top. Dumplin' isn't going to know, or care, if things aren't perfect in his room. As long as he has milk, diapers and a soft place to lay his head, that's all he needs. Who cares about the rest, right?
I cried lots of tears yesterday at the thought of being away, and I know more are to come today. I was on bedrest for 12 days with Emma Grace. The days aren't so bad because of visitors that come and go, but the nights are long and lonely. My family is sad, but they understand this is the best thing to keep me and Dumplin' safe.
I was in the nursery last night (which is a TOTAL mess right now because of a mega fort the girls built) showing Jessica things that had to be washed, and I looked into the crib. There lay Grady's white gown, his hospital bands, the bag with his locks of hair, and the gown he wore during my time with him. I put my hand on the side of the crib and tearfully said to Jessica, "This is what we're trying to keep from happening again. We want an alive baby to bring home this time." She and I hugged and agreed it would all be worth it.
We would so very much appreciate your prayers. Some specifics to pray for are:
--Dumplin' stays put until his August 4th c-section date
--Dumplin's lungs will mature
--my uterus won't rupture and there will be no other complications
--peace and survival for Gib and the girls while I'm away
We rest in the fact that this is God's plan and His will for me and Dumplin' right now. Thank you so much for your prayers and support!