Thank you for visiting my blog! If you are visiting because you have experienced a pregnancy or infant loss, let me say that I am so very sorry. I started this blog shortly after our Baby Grady was stillborn on November 12, 2008. Please visit the sidebar below called "Labels" to find the topic in which you are interested, or just read as your heart desires.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Hi Ho, Hi Ho...'s off to high-risk I go!

I'll be heading to the hospital today until Dumplin' arrives. This is a precautionary measure. And while I'm sad and don't look forward to staring at the same four walls, I'm so thankful to have a doctor who is conservative and on top of things.

Saturday, I took the girls to Walmart to get school supplies. Now let me just pause here and say that I never do these kinds of things early, but Jessica was persistent so off we went. And what a blessing that I have already purchased Emma Grace's uniforms for the school year, too. It's taken care of and Gib won't have to deal with it. Praise the Lord for His blessings, big and small!

Anyway, as we were casually taking our time in the store, I had the worst pain in my abdomen. It literally felt like my uterus was splitting right down the middle. It was so painful that I could hardly put one foot in front of the other. We bought what we had, and Jessica helped get everything in the car. Once I sat down I felt a bit better, but it continued to hurt. I drove the 15 minute drive home and promptly went to bed, where I stayed for about three hours. The pain subsided, and I didn't call Dr. Joe. The pain has come back once at almost the same intensity but not quite. The last couple of days, I've had twinges here and there of the pain and pulling sensation.

So, at my appointment with Dr. Joe yesterday, I thought I was in the clear. Dumplin' produced a great heart rate strip for his NST, and my cervix looked great on ultrasound.

But then I told him about the pain.

His demeanor changed, and I could see (almost hear) his wheels turning. But I wasn't prepared for what came next...

I measured 37cm yesterday which isn't too terribly big considering I'll be 33 weeks tomorrow. But I am big, Dumplin' is big and VERY active. I have LOTS and LOTS of braxton-hicks contractions (the practice ones) with some real ones mixed in. Dr. Joe is concerned with all of those things, combined with the pain I'm having in my middle uterus, that my uterus might rupture. I'm at risk for this because I have an old fashioned, classical incision on my uterus from Emma Grace being born so emergently at 25 weeks.

Dr. Joe looked around my uterus with ultrasound and saw nothing alarming, but he sure did keep feeling and poking around on my abdomen. I asked him if it felt okay, and his response was, "Yeah, it's okay." I got the feeling that something he felt was a bit off, but he didn't want to alarm me, too. I feel like if it was great he would have said so. It wasn't long after that he mentioned the hospital.

He told me that if I had called him from where I live (45 minutes from the hospital) and told him the kind of pain I was having, he would have "freaked out". He said with a uterine rupture that far away, there's no chance of saving the baby and it's very dangerous for me, too. If I was in the hospital parking lot, it would still be too far away. But if I'm on the high risk unit, "there's a fighting chance if something were to happen".

So, off to high-risk I go sometime today. I think if I had not had the girls with me yesterday, Dr, Joe might have gone ahead and admitted me. He didn't give me a specific time to be there, and I'm not in a hurry. I haven't packed. Instead, last night I spent time with my family, got the laundry caught up, and made lists of how to do things around here for Gib and the girls. Things are not perfect and exactly in order the way I would like them to be for the next few weeks, but I've had to step back and examine my priorities. And a perfectly clean, orderly house is NOT at the top. Dumplin' isn't going to know, or care, if things aren't perfect in his room. As long as he has milk, diapers and a soft place to lay his head, that's all he needs. Who cares about the rest, right?

I cried lots of tears yesterday at the thought of being away, and I know more are to come today. I was on bedrest for 12 days with Emma Grace. The days aren't so bad because of visitors that come and go, but the nights are long and lonely. My family is sad, but they understand this is the best thing to keep me and Dumplin' safe.

I was in the nursery last night (which is a TOTAL mess right now because of a mega fort the girls built) showing Jessica things that had to be washed, and I looked into the crib. There lay Grady's white gown, his hospital bands, the bag with his locks of hair, and the gown he wore during my time with him. I put my hand on the side of the crib and tearfully said to Jessica, "This is what we're trying to keep from happening again. We want an alive baby to bring home this time." She and I hugged and agreed it would all be worth it.

We would so very much appreciate your prayers. Some specifics to pray for are:

--Dumplin' stays put until his August 4th c-section date
--Dumplin's lungs will mature
--my uterus won't rupture and there will be no other complications
--peace and survival for Gib and the girls while I'm away

We rest in the fact that this is God's plan and His will for me and Dumplin' right now. Thank you so much for your prayers and support!



  1. Consider me your personal prayer warrior... I will commit those specific requests to prayer daily. I'll call you to ask what else I can do... Until then, I'm praying! ae

  2. I am praying for you, Dumplin' and your household!! God's blessings are poured out upon you. Ask and you shall receive...
    Call me WHENEVER 770-262-4356
    Debbie Lamb

  3. I will continue to pray for you Tonya, your baby, girls and hubby! Praising God for protecting you and your little one. Bless the Lord and do not forget all His benefits!

  4. oh goodness! i can honestly say hospital bedrest is SOOOO not fun but i will also tell you that it is MORE than worth it to bring home a healthy baby....i know you know this :) i'll be praying for your heart over the next few weeks....for your children....and that the time passes by really quickly!

    bring your own clothes, comfy ones! pictures from home to decorate your and stuff for the kids to play wiht when they come...a labtop to do some shopping - thats the best part!!

    hang in there girly!

  5. Hey Tonya - Kerry has shared with me the news of Dumplin'! I am very excited for you and your family. As I read this post this morning I am praying for you and Dumplin', Gib and the girls. If it is okay, I will come visit you.
    I love you and know that God will protect you and Dumplin'!

  6. Praying for you and Dumplin Tonya! I can't imagine how hard this will be on your family but you are exactly right, this is to help bring your little healthy baby home!

  7. Tonya, you know I am praying for you like crazy... Dumplin too:) You 2 are resting in the Great Physicians hands... he loves you both, created you both with a purpose... You could be in no better hands... Glad Dr. Joe is so on top of things too...
    Love you friend!

  8. Wow, 33 weeks already?!?
    I'm sure you will be in great hards at the hospital, so try and just get as much rest as you can until The Dumplin arrives! Eat and sleep lots! I'll be thinking of you and pray that your hospital time goes smoothly. I look forward to seeing those first pictures of Dumplin all happy and healthy in a few weeks!


  9. Tonya,
    I will be praying for you~ I have heard such wonderful things about your doctor, and I know you are so glad that you are in the most capable hands. I pray you find Rest in the Ultimate Physician. Please tell Gib if he needs anything, to please call me. I'm just a hop and a skip away!
    Blessings and Peace,

  10. We are praying for you and Dumplin'. I pray you feel the love of God surround you while you are away from your family.


  11. our family has been praying for you and dumplin' all summer. we're excited that the lord has brought you this far, and will continue to pray.
    let us know if there is anything you need.


    the herzingers.

  12. Tonya I am praying for you and Dumplin' and Gib and the girls. Take in Him.

    Love, Linda @ Truthful Tidbits

  13. Tonya, I am praying for all those things for you and your family. I can't wait to hear good news.