Happy New Year my long lost friends! I miss you...really, I do! I have such great intentions to blog. I just don't make the time to do it. Obviously. And I apologize for that. Especially to readers like my Aunt Barbara, who reads this to keep up with our family. So, in honor of the new year, I will do a little catching up for all of you...and myself, too.
***We have had a GREAT break for Christmas. I have totally enjoyed our whole family being home. Gib goes back to work tomorrow; the girls go back Tuesday. Matthew and I will be lonely for sure. I'm not sure what, if anything, is going on with Jessica and her friends, but she hasn't asked to do much at all over break. She spent two nights with a friend and had another over one night, but that's it. I have totally enjoyed having her home. I'm sure things will change once school starts back.
We were going to go to Colorado this past week, but we decided to wait until our break in February. Plane tickets were way too expensive and are way cheaper if we wait. Gib's brother, Arthur, recently bought a house on a ski resort (Copper Mountain) in Colorado, and we're going to go check it out. Should be fun! I can't tell you how absolutely wonderful it is to have reconciled with Arthur after not really speaking for four years. Feels like the family is "back together"! I'm not sure we will ever be as close as we once were, but it just feels great to be in touch again.
The girls have gotten along exceptionally well this Christmas break. They have shared and spent some great time together. Jessica hardly ever uses her room upstairs; she mainly sleeps with Emma Grace. They really need a bunk bed. But don't tell them I said that! :)
***Matthew continues to blossom every day. His personality is so funny, and he is such a love! He absolutely melts my heart when I pick him up, and he lays his head on my shoulder. He has developed a temper, though. Gone is the laid back baby I once knew. Here is the baby who pitches a fit when he doesn't get what he wants...and I wouldn't have it any other way! I need to do an update on just him VERY soon.
***I'm reading "The Help". Emma Grace gave it to me for Christmas. I have a hard time putting it down. I really wanted to read the book before seeing the movie because that's just the way I prefer it. I'm almost done, but it feels like these last 100 pages or so are taking me the longest to get through.
I'm turning over a new leaf tomorrow, and I'm blogging about it for accountability. I'm starting South Beach diet tomorrow and am committed to exercising regularly. I did South Beach before I got pregnant with Grady and lost about 15 lbs. I like the way it works and think it's a healthy approach to weight loss. I turn 4o this September, and I'm determined to run a half marathon before then. And, I would love to wear a bikini to the pool this summer! :) Gib's mother made the mistake of saying "You can't run" to me at Gib's 40th birthday dinner. That just added fuel to my fire!
I'm also going to be looking for a nursing job this year. I really need the extra money, but more than that, I need something to call my own. Gib never makes me feel like the paycheck he receives is his...always "ours". But, I've worked since I was 14 and only recently have I not been earning an income of any type. I taught childbirth, breastfeeding and infant safety/cpr classes until Grady died, and then I continued to work at the preschool. I need something. I am starting my own support group for perinatal loss in one week, but I'm not getting paid. The funding for my salary has not come in, so I'm doing that on a volunteer basis. I'm also determined to get better at using coupons. I may not get a lot of free stuff like the "extreme couponers" do, but at least I will be saving money!
***I apologize for no pictures tonight. I'm tired and don't feel like waiting on them to load. One of my goals for 2012 is to blog more, not only for you my readers/friends but for memories for my family.
Happy New Year! See you soon!
Love,
Tonya
Showing posts with label Emma Grace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Emma Grace. Show all posts
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Santa Visit, 2011
One of my favorite local stores had Santa and Mrs. Clause visit last weekend for photos and a special time with the kids. To my GREAT surprise, Matthew didn't cry! He didn't smile either, but he didn't cry. I was amazed!
Here he is checking out Santa before his turn.
Emma Grace looked thrilled, huh? She sat this way the whole time she was talking to him with a little smirk on her face.
Jessica was somewhat big for Santa's lap, but she sat there and told him what she wanted. It didn't seem to bother her one bit to be surrounded by children many years younger than her. (It seems crazy to write that..."many years younger"...she is growing up so fast!)
Matthew was very interested in Mrs. Clause for their group picture, and no matter how hard I tried, he wasn't taking his eyes off of her!
And while we're talking about Christmas, here's a picture of my favorite little Rudolph. She and Jessica had a "make over" session with make up and a little face paint. Love it!
Hope to be back sooner than later!
Love,
Tonya
Here he is checking out Santa before his turn.
Emma Grace looked thrilled, huh? She sat this way the whole time she was talking to him with a little smirk on her face.
Jessica was somewhat big for Santa's lap, but she sat there and told him what she wanted. It didn't seem to bother her one bit to be surrounded by children many years younger than her. (It seems crazy to write that..."many years younger"...she is growing up so fast!)
Matthew was very interested in Mrs. Clause for their group picture, and no matter how hard I tried, he wasn't taking his eyes off of her!
And while we're talking about Christmas, here's a picture of my favorite little Rudolph. She and Jessica had a "make over" session with make up and a little face paint. Love it!
Hope to be back sooner than later!
Love,
Tonya
Thursday, September 8, 2011
That Time Again...
Yes, it's that time again.
There isn't a day of my life that I don't think about Grady. Especially now that Matthew is here, I wonder all things little boy and what could have been with him.
But the weather here has changed significantly in the last few days. There is a chill in the night air and the days are less humid and much cooler.
And it always makes me think of Grady. It has been almost three years since he went to heaven. Three years. Wow!
It had been a long, hot summer of being pregnant with him in 2008, so when the weather turned cooler, I was ever-so-thankful. And since the weather is doing the same now, my mind can't help but "go there".
Back to my pregnancy with him. Back to all the dreams we had of our first little boy. Back to the joy and anticipation of what it would be like to bring him home.
But none of that was meant to be. His time on this earth was short. Way too short in my opinion.
Emma Grace had to do a time line for school, and it is due tomorrow. We put a significant event from every year of her life on the time line, and she was adamant that Grady be the "event" for 2008. God love her...she has a picture of her baby brother who is not alive on her time line. She insisted that it be an "in color" picture, not a black and white. We chose, in my opinion, the best color picture of him since his right cheek was so bruised from the pressure of him being in the same position so long.
It warms my heart and makes me so happy that she thinks about him and remembers him as part of our family like she does. But, she had to remind me tonight as we were putting the picture on that she never got to see him. Grrrrr. That will forever be a regret, until the day I die. Literally. The fact that I didn't give these girls of mine the chance to see their first baby brother in person breaks my heart. But we thought, at the time, that we were doing the right thing. Hindsight really is 20/20.
And speaking of this, a good friend of mine is a teacher at Jessica's school. She has Jessica in a special group they have, and they were playing an ice breaker game called "Truth or Lies". Jessica said she had three siblings. Everyone said it was a lie. Apparently Jessica smiled and said, "No, that's the truth".
I remember after Grady died how worried I was that he would be forgotten. I can honestly say that he will never be forgotten in our immediate family. His name gets brought up, almost on a daily basis, around here. And it makes me smile.
He is my first boy. My third child. My angel waiting in heaven for me. The rainbow in the sky after a storm and the butterfly that flies in front of me. He is the reason that I have a heart for hurting people. He is one of the many reasons I look forward to heaven. Come, Lord Jesus, Come.
It's that time of year again.
And I miss him.
*If you read this tonight or tomorrow morning, Matthew has a check up with the neurologist tomorrow (Friday). If you would say a prayer that the appointment goes well, that would be wonderful. Thanks!*
Love,
Tonya
There isn't a day of my life that I don't think about Grady. Especially now that Matthew is here, I wonder all things little boy and what could have been with him.
But the weather here has changed significantly in the last few days. There is a chill in the night air and the days are less humid and much cooler.
And it always makes me think of Grady. It has been almost three years since he went to heaven. Three years. Wow!
It had been a long, hot summer of being pregnant with him in 2008, so when the weather turned cooler, I was ever-so-thankful. And since the weather is doing the same now, my mind can't help but "go there".
Back to my pregnancy with him. Back to all the dreams we had of our first little boy. Back to the joy and anticipation of what it would be like to bring him home.
But none of that was meant to be. His time on this earth was short. Way too short in my opinion.
Emma Grace had to do a time line for school, and it is due tomorrow. We put a significant event from every year of her life on the time line, and she was adamant that Grady be the "event" for 2008. God love her...she has a picture of her baby brother who is not alive on her time line. She insisted that it be an "in color" picture, not a black and white. We chose, in my opinion, the best color picture of him since his right cheek was so bruised from the pressure of him being in the same position so long.
It warms my heart and makes me so happy that she thinks about him and remembers him as part of our family like she does. But, she had to remind me tonight as we were putting the picture on that she never got to see him. Grrrrr. That will forever be a regret, until the day I die. Literally. The fact that I didn't give these girls of mine the chance to see their first baby brother in person breaks my heart. But we thought, at the time, that we were doing the right thing. Hindsight really is 20/20.
And speaking of this, a good friend of mine is a teacher at Jessica's school. She has Jessica in a special group they have, and they were playing an ice breaker game called "Truth or Lies". Jessica said she had three siblings. Everyone said it was a lie. Apparently Jessica smiled and said, "No, that's the truth".
I remember after Grady died how worried I was that he would be forgotten. I can honestly say that he will never be forgotten in our immediate family. His name gets brought up, almost on a daily basis, around here. And it makes me smile.
He is my first boy. My third child. My angel waiting in heaven for me. The rainbow in the sky after a storm and the butterfly that flies in front of me. He is the reason that I have a heart for hurting people. He is one of the many reasons I look forward to heaven. Come, Lord Jesus, Come.
It's that time of year again.
And I miss him.
*If you read this tonight or tomorrow morning, Matthew has a check up with the neurologist tomorrow (Friday). If you would say a prayer that the appointment goes well, that would be wonderful. Thanks!*
Love,
Tonya
Friday, August 5, 2011
Tidbits from T
Hi friends! Yes, I'm going to give you Matthew's 12 month stats and share part 2 of his first birthday celebration soon. But I thought I'd do a quick blog post and catch up on other areas of our life. Yes, believe it or not, there is more to our lives than Matthew! (But he's a huge part of it!) :)
***The girls started back to school this past Monday, August 1st. Matthew and I were sad to see them go and were quite lonely during the day. Yes, I made them pose for these dorky pictures.
Gib thought I was dorky for making them hold signs, so I got to be in one of the pics, too.
***Jessica tried out for volleyball at school this week, but didn't make the team. :( I think Gib and I were more sad for her than she was for herself. She wants to take gymnastics, and the class I signed her up for would have conflicted with her game schedule. It worked out for the best for now, but I hope she will pursue this again because she does have good hand/eye coordination.
I'm not sure I mentioned it before, but Jessica got braces the beginning of June. She looks great in them and has adjusted well to having them. We'll see how she does after getting them tightened for the first time on Monday.
She is growing up way too fast, but I'm so proud of the young girl she is becoming. She has started babysitting for the three children across the street, ages 3, 2 and 9 months. She is very responsible and has such a sweet spirit. I sure do love that girl!
She will probably kill me for posting this picture, but I took this picture of her sleeping the other night. I used to take sleeping pictures all the time when she was younger. I just felt like I needed a recent one. Even though she's getting big, she will always be my "baby girl".
***The school put Emma Grace on the wrong bus the first day of school. I only freaked out a little. Gib, on the other hand, my mild-mannered husband, just about flipped a lid. He was livid. Turns out there is another subdivision with a street name the same as ours, and Emma Grace and two other little girls got put on that bus. Emma Grace spoke up to her teachers several times, they checked with the office several times, but the transportation department was to blame. I know we all make mistakes, but I put our subdivision name on her form, so there should have been no confusion. The bottom line is that she made it home safely and has come home on the correct bus since. I spoke with the assistant principal and her teacher called to apologize and check on her. It's all good.
Emma Grace will take gymnastics on the same day and time as Jessica. That couldn't have worked out better! I'm excited that she is getting involved in an activity again. She really is happy just hanging out, playing with friends, Matthew, her sister and Buddy. And talking. That girl of mine talks nonstop. Wonder who she gets that from? *wink*
She has started sleeping in these eye covers. Do they crack you up as much as they do me?
This is how I find her a couple of hours after she goes to bed.
She had her first official sleepover recently. Well, I can't really say that. She has spent the night next door several times (but that's next door and in many ways like a second home to her), and she has spent the night at MeMe's house. But, another sweet friend of hers invited her to go to the American Girl store, out to dinner and to spend the night just before school started. She did great and had a GREAT time! Thanks, Reagan!
***I'm contemplating running a half marathon with Gib in October. CRAZY!!! I am so out of shape that I get winded walking up my driveway. Not sure what I'm gonna do yet, but I've got to decide SOON!
Our grocery bill is out of control, and I absolutely HATE going to the grocery store. I'm thinking about making a monthly menu, shopping for the main ingredients and only going once a week for milk, fresh fruits/veggies, lunch meat and bread. I found a blog called Grocery Shrink and she blows my mind on how she can feed her family of seven on $350 a month! And they don't eat a lot of junk or processed food. Hmmm. Makes me think for sure. It all overwhelms me but if I could feed my family for $600 a month I would be thrilled.
I'm continuing to work with Rock Goodbye Angel, a local organization that provides support for bereaved families. We are currently searching for a meeting place near the hospital where Grady was born to start a support group, and we are also praying for funding to hire me on part-time. Exciting!
What's not so exciting to me is leaving Matthew. I have never had to put any of our children in any type of childcare setting other than the church nursery. I always said, though, that if an opportunity came along for me to use Grady's life/death to impact others that I would do it part-time. I can make phone calls and work on the computer while he naps, but when we really get into the hospital, I will have to leave him to go educate providers on our services and be present for bereaved families, if the so desire. I found an awesome lady to keep him one day a week, so that makes my heart happy! He will be with three other babies right about his same age. Granted, he is behind in his development, I think it will be great for him to see what they're doing.
***Speaking of Matthew, he's army crawling everywhere and is into everything! Like this box the other day.
He blew me kisses with just his mouth yesterday morning while we were strolling around in Target...melted my heart! He loves to sit in the buggy and look around.
We are for sure going to have to take him to a race when he gets older. As I was leaving the dentist the other day, he was enthralled with the cars that were passing by on the busy street. I can only imagine how he would love the loud, fast cars at a race track.
He got a wagon for his birthday from MeMe and GranDave. It's been a huge hit, for Matthew AND the girls! What's wrong with this picture?
He is feeling much better this week. He had an ear infection, fever and a cruddy nose last week. It turned into a cough and wheezing. Thankfully, I had the nebulizer and medicine already. I hate that a cold can't just be a cold for my kids.
Matthew loves Buddy, but I'm not sure the feeling is mutual. Buddy is great with him, though, and every now and then, they "play" together.
***Grady has been on my mind more than normal lately. I think about him everyday but I've found myself really thinking about him and missing him so much. I think a lot of it is the fact that he would be old enough to start preschool this year. He would have turned three this November. It's hard to believe he's been gone almost three years!
***Gib is back at work. Thankfully he does NOT have testing again this year. People at work have commented that they've seen him smile more lately than they ever have before. We are all hoping to see him more and spend more time with him. We got spoiled having him with us so much this summer.
He is wrapping up his summer classes at UGA and only has two classes left to finish his specialist degree. He mentioned a doctorate program the other night. Please, Lord, not more school!!! In all seriousness, I'm very proud of him. I simply have no desire to go back to school. Ever. Unless I absolutely have to for some reason.
***We are looking forward to a visit from Gib's brother and his family in early September. They have not visited in four years! We loved spending time with them in the Bahamas and are looking forward to them coming for a few days. The kids have a blast together, and so do we adults! Speaking of the adults, we will be going to the UGA vs. Boise State football game at the Georgia Dome while they are here. It has been a long time since I've been to a Georgia football game. I'm looking forward to it! I just wish it was going to be in Athens to get the full effects of Georgia football!
***So much for being a "quick" blog post as I mentioned in the beginning. Now I'm realizing why I don't blog much. I started this post Friday morning...it's now Saturday morning, and I'm just finishing it!
Have a great weekend!
Love,
Tonya
***The girls started back to school this past Monday, August 1st. Matthew and I were sad to see them go and were quite lonely during the day. Yes, I made them pose for these dorky pictures.
Gib thought I was dorky for making them hold signs, so I got to be in one of the pics, too.
***Jessica tried out for volleyball at school this week, but didn't make the team. :( I think Gib and I were more sad for her than she was for herself. She wants to take gymnastics, and the class I signed her up for would have conflicted with her game schedule. It worked out for the best for now, but I hope she will pursue this again because she does have good hand/eye coordination.
I'm not sure I mentioned it before, but Jessica got braces the beginning of June. She looks great in them and has adjusted well to having them. We'll see how she does after getting them tightened for the first time on Monday.
She is growing up way too fast, but I'm so proud of the young girl she is becoming. She has started babysitting for the three children across the street, ages 3, 2 and 9 months. She is very responsible and has such a sweet spirit. I sure do love that girl!
She will probably kill me for posting this picture, but I took this picture of her sleeping the other night. I used to take sleeping pictures all the time when she was younger. I just felt like I needed a recent one. Even though she's getting big, she will always be my "baby girl".
***The school put Emma Grace on the wrong bus the first day of school. I only freaked out a little. Gib, on the other hand, my mild-mannered husband, just about flipped a lid. He was livid. Turns out there is another subdivision with a street name the same as ours, and Emma Grace and two other little girls got put on that bus. Emma Grace spoke up to her teachers several times, they checked with the office several times, but the transportation department was to blame. I know we all make mistakes, but I put our subdivision name on her form, so there should have been no confusion. The bottom line is that she made it home safely and has come home on the correct bus since. I spoke with the assistant principal and her teacher called to apologize and check on her. It's all good.
Emma Grace will take gymnastics on the same day and time as Jessica. That couldn't have worked out better! I'm excited that she is getting involved in an activity again. She really is happy just hanging out, playing with friends, Matthew, her sister and Buddy. And talking. That girl of mine talks nonstop. Wonder who she gets that from? *wink*
She has started sleeping in these eye covers. Do they crack you up as much as they do me?
This is how I find her a couple of hours after she goes to bed.She had her first official sleepover recently. Well, I can't really say that. She has spent the night next door several times (but that's next door and in many ways like a second home to her), and she has spent the night at MeMe's house. But, another sweet friend of hers invited her to go to the American Girl store, out to dinner and to spend the night just before school started. She did great and had a GREAT time! Thanks, Reagan!
***I'm contemplating running a half marathon with Gib in October. CRAZY!!! I am so out of shape that I get winded walking up my driveway. Not sure what I'm gonna do yet, but I've got to decide SOON!
Our grocery bill is out of control, and I absolutely HATE going to the grocery store. I'm thinking about making a monthly menu, shopping for the main ingredients and only going once a week for milk, fresh fruits/veggies, lunch meat and bread. I found a blog called Grocery Shrink and she blows my mind on how she can feed her family of seven on $350 a month! And they don't eat a lot of junk or processed food. Hmmm. Makes me think for sure. It all overwhelms me but if I could feed my family for $600 a month I would be thrilled.
I'm continuing to work with Rock Goodbye Angel, a local organization that provides support for bereaved families. We are currently searching for a meeting place near the hospital where Grady was born to start a support group, and we are also praying for funding to hire me on part-time. Exciting!
What's not so exciting to me is leaving Matthew. I have never had to put any of our children in any type of childcare setting other than the church nursery. I always said, though, that if an opportunity came along for me to use Grady's life/death to impact others that I would do it part-time. I can make phone calls and work on the computer while he naps, but when we really get into the hospital, I will have to leave him to go educate providers on our services and be present for bereaved families, if the so desire. I found an awesome lady to keep him one day a week, so that makes my heart happy! He will be with three other babies right about his same age. Granted, he is behind in his development, I think it will be great for him to see what they're doing.
***Speaking of Matthew, he's army crawling everywhere and is into everything! Like this box the other day.
He blew me kisses with just his mouth yesterday morning while we were strolling around in Target...melted my heart! He loves to sit in the buggy and look around.
We are for sure going to have to take him to a race when he gets older. As I was leaving the dentist the other day, he was enthralled with the cars that were passing by on the busy street. I can only imagine how he would love the loud, fast cars at a race track.
He got a wagon for his birthday from MeMe and GranDave. It's been a huge hit, for Matthew AND the girls! What's wrong with this picture?
He is feeling much better this week. He had an ear infection, fever and a cruddy nose last week. It turned into a cough and wheezing. Thankfully, I had the nebulizer and medicine already. I hate that a cold can't just be a cold for my kids.
Matthew loves Buddy, but I'm not sure the feeling is mutual. Buddy is great with him, though, and every now and then, they "play" together.
***Grady has been on my mind more than normal lately. I think about him everyday but I've found myself really thinking about him and missing him so much. I think a lot of it is the fact that he would be old enough to start preschool this year. He would have turned three this November. It's hard to believe he's been gone almost three years!
***Gib is back at work. Thankfully he does NOT have testing again this year. People at work have commented that they've seen him smile more lately than they ever have before. We are all hoping to see him more and spend more time with him. We got spoiled having him with us so much this summer.
He is wrapping up his summer classes at UGA and only has two classes left to finish his specialist degree. He mentioned a doctorate program the other night. Please, Lord, not more school!!! In all seriousness, I'm very proud of him. I simply have no desire to go back to school. Ever. Unless I absolutely have to for some reason.
***We are looking forward to a visit from Gib's brother and his family in early September. They have not visited in four years! We loved spending time with them in the Bahamas and are looking forward to them coming for a few days. The kids have a blast together, and so do we adults! Speaking of the adults, we will be going to the UGA vs. Boise State football game at the Georgia Dome while they are here. It has been a long time since I've been to a Georgia football game. I'm looking forward to it! I just wish it was going to be in Athens to get the full effects of Georgia football!
***So much for being a "quick" blog post as I mentioned in the beginning. Now I'm realizing why I don't blog much. I started this post Friday morning...it's now Saturday morning, and I'm just finishing it!
Have a great weekend!
Love,
Tonya
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Thankful Reflection
I can't believe that one year ago today we brought our sweet boy home from the hospital! I remember the chaos of that day...trying to get things ready at home, both girls had open house at school, and crazy me took the time to write this post.
The next day, I shared some pictures of his homecoming in this blog post.
Words truly cannot express the thankfulness I have in my heart today.
For Matthew.
For Emma Grace.
For Jessica.
For Grady in heaven.
For Gib.
And for my heavenly father, without whom I would have none of these blessings in my life.
Thank you Lord for my beautiful children, both in heaven and here on earth. Thank you for my wonderful husband who loves me when I'm hard to love. Thank you for our extended family and the friends you've brought into my life. Thank you for your love, your Son and the gift of His life. Thank you for the promise and hope of heaven.
Pictures like these warm my heart beyond words.
Have a great weekend!
Love,
Tonya
The next day, I shared some pictures of his homecoming in this blog post.
Words truly cannot express the thankfulness I have in my heart today.
For Matthew.
For Emma Grace.
For Jessica.
For Grady in heaven.
For Gib.
And for my heavenly father, without whom I would have none of these blessings in my life.
Thank you Lord for my beautiful children, both in heaven and here on earth. Thank you for my wonderful husband who loves me when I'm hard to love. Thank you for our extended family and the friends you've brought into my life. Thank you for your love, your Son and the gift of His life. Thank you for the promise and hope of heaven.
Pictures like these warm my heart beyond words.
Have a great weekend!
Love,
Tonya
Monday, May 9, 2011
Mother's Day, 2011
I hope all of you had a wonderful Mother's Day yesterday. Mine was quiet, which was nice.
Saturday, the girls and I attended a picnic at the River Forks Park & Campground for a balloon release with Rock Goodbye Angel. It was absolutely beautiful! (other than the fact that it was cold and very windy!) I've never been there, but our family will be taking a day trip when the weather warms up a bit more. It only costs $5 to get in and there's an awesome playground and beach area on the lake with picnic tables, grills, and plenty of grass and trees to relax under.
We released balloons for babies who have gone before us. I released a balloon for Grady, as well as balloons for several of my friends' babies, too. It is amazing to think that 2 1/2 years ago, I knew absolutely no one who had lost a baby...
Jessica seemed fine while we were there, but she fell asleep on the way home, which is VERY unusual for her. Later in the day she told me her throat hurt. Upon Momma T's inspection, I found a very red throat with some white pus pockets. Off to the urgent care we went. So glad we did because she had strep. Because she started on antibiotics Saturday night, she felt great this morning and was able to go to school.
So, we spent the morning home from church yesterday. I originally thought it would be great to sleep in...Gib could get up with Matthew, etc. However, I was already awake. I went to the kitchen to warm his bottle, and Gib went to Matthew because he was crying. Gib had picked him up, and when I walked in, he all but lunged for me. How's that for a sweet Mother's Day present? And the even better part? He let me snuggle him on my shoulder for at least five minutes while his bottle warmed. That was definitely better than any sleep could ever be!!!
As I was rocking him, I couldn't help but think back to the previous two Mother's Days. I was heartbroken in 2009 because Grady wasn't with us and last year, I was pregnant with Matthew but had no idea if he would be here this year or not. (I just realized that I never did a Mother's Day post last year...BAD, BAD!) My heart was full and overjoyed to be holding that baby boy yesterday morning, as I am each and every day.
Emma Grace woke up after Matthew went down for his morning nap. She brought me a gift she made at school. It was a beautiful bracelet with different beads. She snuggled in my lap for a long time which was doubly wonderful. Not long after, Jessica followed. Wow, that girl has gotten so big! Shesmothered me snuggled with me, too which was triply wonderful! She sent me a beautiful text with a flower on it wishing me a Happy Mother's Day. I love my children more than there are words in the human vocabulary!
Matthew ate some banana and sweet potato puffs for the first time yesterday. And he LOVED the banana in this mesh teether.
He even decided to be "cool" and just veg with Daddy. I've not seen him this relaxed on someone's lap in a long time. He's very busy these days! (In case you're wondering, Gib is holding a burp cloth, and if you look closely in the picture below, you can see Gib kissing Matthew's head. Sweet!)
And of course, I had to snap this picture when I got back from the doctor with Jessica Saturday evening. This hasn't happened in a long time either.
Since we didn't go to church yesterday, there was no dressing up for us. This is the only picture of me and my kiddos that was taken.
Jessica made yummy brownies, and we completed the night with spicy Chinese food and a game of Yahtzee, in which Emma Grace beat us BAD! Two Yahtzees! Go Eggiey! (I know that spelling makes no sense, but it's how she spells her nickname!)
Speaking of her, she also made me a card at school. You know the kind, with all the fill in the blanks. Here's a sampling...
My mom can do many things! I think she's best at...takeing care of us and loveing me.
My Mom has a pretty smile! I like to make her smile by...huging her.
My Mom is smart! She even knows...when to make me happy.
My Mom is as pretty as a...flower.
I'd like to tell my Mom...I Love You.
She is special because...she makes banana pudding and buys me clothes.
She's all about the "love" for sure! And she always has a way of remembering Grady in all that we do. I came home from the store and getting dinner last night to find this written on the driveway.
As usual, I've spent too much time on this stupid computer this morning. Gotta try to get something accomplished today!
Love and blessings to you!
Tonya
Saturday, the girls and I attended a picnic at the River Forks Park & Campground for a balloon release with Rock Goodbye Angel. It was absolutely beautiful! (other than the fact that it was cold and very windy!) I've never been there, but our family will be taking a day trip when the weather warms up a bit more. It only costs $5 to get in and there's an awesome playground and beach area on the lake with picnic tables, grills, and plenty of grass and trees to relax under.
We released balloons for babies who have gone before us. I released a balloon for Grady, as well as balloons for several of my friends' babies, too. It is amazing to think that 2 1/2 years ago, I knew absolutely no one who had lost a baby...
Jessica seemed fine while we were there, but she fell asleep on the way home, which is VERY unusual for her. Later in the day she told me her throat hurt. Upon Momma T's inspection, I found a very red throat with some white pus pockets. Off to the urgent care we went. So glad we did because she had strep. Because she started on antibiotics Saturday night, she felt great this morning and was able to go to school.
So, we spent the morning home from church yesterday. I originally thought it would be great to sleep in...Gib could get up with Matthew, etc. However, I was already awake. I went to the kitchen to warm his bottle, and Gib went to Matthew because he was crying. Gib had picked him up, and when I walked in, he all but lunged for me. How's that for a sweet Mother's Day present? And the even better part? He let me snuggle him on my shoulder for at least five minutes while his bottle warmed. That was definitely better than any sleep could ever be!!!
As I was rocking him, I couldn't help but think back to the previous two Mother's Days. I was heartbroken in 2009 because Grady wasn't with us and last year, I was pregnant with Matthew but had no idea if he would be here this year or not. (I just realized that I never did a Mother's Day post last year...BAD, BAD!) My heart was full and overjoyed to be holding that baby boy yesterday morning, as I am each and every day.
Emma Grace woke up after Matthew went down for his morning nap. She brought me a gift she made at school. It was a beautiful bracelet with different beads. She snuggled in my lap for a long time which was doubly wonderful. Not long after, Jessica followed. Wow, that girl has gotten so big! She
Matthew ate some banana and sweet potato puffs for the first time yesterday. And he LOVED the banana in this mesh teether.
He even decided to be "cool" and just veg with Daddy. I've not seen him this relaxed on someone's lap in a long time. He's very busy these days! (In case you're wondering, Gib is holding a burp cloth, and if you look closely in the picture below, you can see Gib kissing Matthew's head. Sweet!)
And of course, I had to snap this picture when I got back from the doctor with Jessica Saturday evening. This hasn't happened in a long time either.
Since we didn't go to church yesterday, there was no dressing up for us. This is the only picture of me and my kiddos that was taken.
Jessica made yummy brownies, and we completed the night with spicy Chinese food and a game of Yahtzee, in which Emma Grace beat us BAD! Two Yahtzees! Go Eggiey! (I know that spelling makes no sense, but it's how she spells her nickname!)
Speaking of her, she also made me a card at school. You know the kind, with all the fill in the blanks. Here's a sampling...
My mom can do many things! I think she's best at...takeing care of us and loveing me.
My Mom has a pretty smile! I like to make her smile by...huging her.
My Mom is smart! She even knows...when to make me happy.
My Mom is as pretty as a...flower.
I'd like to tell my Mom...I Love You.
She is special because...she makes banana pudding and buys me clothes.
She's all about the "love" for sure! And she always has a way of remembering Grady in all that we do. I came home from the store and getting dinner last night to find this written on the driveway.
As usual, I've spent too much time on this stupid computer this morning. Gotta try to get something accomplished today!
Love and blessings to you!
Tonya
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Tidbits from T
***This is a super busy week for our family. Or at least it seems that way.
Monday, I met with the founder of Rock Goodbye Angel to discuss some opportunities to serve bereaved moms who have lost babies. Yesterday was Emma Grace's field day. Matthew and I went for the afternoon fun, and it was HOT! He was so sleepy but such a trooper, as usual. I'm hoping he will continue in that same fashion today as Jessica has a track banquet from 3:30-5:00. After that, we have to go shopping for her an outfit and new shoes for her Chorus performance tomorrow night. (Don't get me started on that! She has to wear all black with black shoes that she will never wear again...UGGH! She borrowed black boots in the fall and winter but those won't fly this time of year. Not to mention that I somehow didn't get the email that was sent out, and Jessica just told me about it last night. DOUBLE UGGH!) Friday, Matthew has to go to the neurologist, Mr. Personality himself. And Saturday, we have the balloon release and ice cream party to honor our babies. Busy, busy.
***Emma Grace received an award last week, called a Dragon Award, for sportsmanship. She was selected by her classmates for this, and we were so proud! She was honored on the stage with a special lunch. I went, but she requested that I not bring Matthew. So funny that girl! It was a special time just the two of us.
***Matthew has mastered the art of rolling. And rolling. And rolling. All over the place! This is such a huge accomplishment for him. He is building strength in his right arm, and his therapist is going to be thrilled when we go back next week. He gets from his back to his tummy in no time flat. And he is actually enjoying his tummy, even rolling over on it to sleep. The bad part about that, though, is that he has woken up every morning soaking wet. Two nights ago, he wasn't happy on his tummy and couldn't find his paci, so at 3am I turned him to his back to find he was wet up to his chest. So, a change of clothes and a new sheet it was. Fortunately, he went right back to sleep.
When he's on his tummy, he is trying to move his legs and get them under him. He is showing the beginnings of doing an army crawl. It's my guess that he will be all over this house very soon. What a blessing! But what a challenge...
***Heeding my own advice is so hard. I used to tell moms that any amount of breastmilk they gave their babies was better than none. And that is the absolute truth. But for myself, I set the bar super high and strive for a year. I did it with Jessica and Emma Grace. But, unfortunately, my breastfeeding/pumping days are a thing of the past. For good.
I gave it up last week. I just couldn't do it anymore. I honestly had grown to hate it. I never loved it, but I knew I was doing a great thing for Matthew. It got to the point, though, that when I would sit to pump, I would almost have an anxiety attack. The stress of that would inhibit my let down, and I would get frustrated about that. It just wasn't worth it anymore. Of course, I had the internal dialogue with myself..."You've done it for 9 1/2 months, it's okay to stop now." And the flip side... "You've done it for 9 1/2 months, you can do it 2 1/2 more!" But the truth is that I needed to stop for myself. I am still struggling with the guilt, especially since Matthew isn't taking his bottles like he was before. But I feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders these days.
***If it comes to mind, could you please say a prayer for my sweet husband? This is an extremely stressful time for him at work. He is preparing for the EOCT (end of course testing) at his school for close to 4,000 students. He is a perfectionist when it comes to his work and gives 110%, plus this is a huge responsibility for one person. He was awake at 2:30 this morning and will work late every night until (and after) the testing is over, which is in two weeks. I worry about him, obviously because I love him, but also because of his past heart issues. He had a heart attack in May of 2007. Not your typical heart attack due to blockage, but due to an artery spasm which decreased oxygen to his heart muscle. He takes medication daily to help keep those vessels relaxed, but stress can aggrevate the problem, so please pray that he does okay. And that I can be supportive and encouraging to him during this time. Thanks!
That's all I have time for right now. Thanks for reading!
Love,
Tonya
Monday, I met with the founder of Rock Goodbye Angel to discuss some opportunities to serve bereaved moms who have lost babies. Yesterday was Emma Grace's field day. Matthew and I went for the afternoon fun, and it was HOT! He was so sleepy but such a trooper, as usual. I'm hoping he will continue in that same fashion today as Jessica has a track banquet from 3:30-5:00. After that, we have to go shopping for her an outfit and new shoes for her Chorus performance tomorrow night. (Don't get me started on that! She has to wear all black with black shoes that she will never wear again...UGGH! She borrowed black boots in the fall and winter but those won't fly this time of year. Not to mention that I somehow didn't get the email that was sent out, and Jessica just told me about it last night. DOUBLE UGGH!) Friday, Matthew has to go to the neurologist, Mr. Personality himself. And Saturday, we have the balloon release and ice cream party to honor our babies. Busy, busy.
***Emma Grace received an award last week, called a Dragon Award, for sportsmanship. She was selected by her classmates for this, and we were so proud! She was honored on the stage with a special lunch. I went, but she requested that I not bring Matthew. So funny that girl! It was a special time just the two of us.
***Matthew has mastered the art of rolling. And rolling. And rolling. All over the place! This is such a huge accomplishment for him. He is building strength in his right arm, and his therapist is going to be thrilled when we go back next week. He gets from his back to his tummy in no time flat. And he is actually enjoying his tummy, even rolling over on it to sleep. The bad part about that, though, is that he has woken up every morning soaking wet. Two nights ago, he wasn't happy on his tummy and couldn't find his paci, so at 3am I turned him to his back to find he was wet up to his chest. So, a change of clothes and a new sheet it was. Fortunately, he went right back to sleep.
When he's on his tummy, he is trying to move his legs and get them under him. He is showing the beginnings of doing an army crawl. It's my guess that he will be all over this house very soon. What a blessing! But what a challenge...
***Heeding my own advice is so hard. I used to tell moms that any amount of breastmilk they gave their babies was better than none. And that is the absolute truth. But for myself, I set the bar super high and strive for a year. I did it with Jessica and Emma Grace. But, unfortunately, my breastfeeding/pumping days are a thing of the past. For good.
I gave it up last week. I just couldn't do it anymore. I honestly had grown to hate it. I never loved it, but I knew I was doing a great thing for Matthew. It got to the point, though, that when I would sit to pump, I would almost have an anxiety attack. The stress of that would inhibit my let down, and I would get frustrated about that. It just wasn't worth it anymore. Of course, I had the internal dialogue with myself..."You've done it for 9 1/2 months, it's okay to stop now." And the flip side... "You've done it for 9 1/2 months, you can do it 2 1/2 more!" But the truth is that I needed to stop for myself. I am still struggling with the guilt, especially since Matthew isn't taking his bottles like he was before. But I feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders these days.
***If it comes to mind, could you please say a prayer for my sweet husband? This is an extremely stressful time for him at work. He is preparing for the EOCT (end of course testing) at his school for close to 4,000 students. He is a perfectionist when it comes to his work and gives 110%, plus this is a huge responsibility for one person. He was awake at 2:30 this morning and will work late every night until (and after) the testing is over, which is in two weeks. I worry about him, obviously because I love him, but also because of his past heart issues. He had a heart attack in May of 2007. Not your typical heart attack due to blockage, but due to an artery spasm which decreased oxygen to his heart muscle. He takes medication daily to help keep those vessels relaxed, but stress can aggrevate the problem, so please pray that he does okay. And that I can be supportive and encouraging to him during this time. Thanks!
That's all I have time for right now. Thanks for reading!
Love,
Tonya
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Happy 8th Birthday Emma Grace!
(The pictures above were taken very early this morning before school.)
I cannot believe that my baby girl turned 8 years old today! It seems like just yesterday that she was born. We were filled with fear and uncertainty as to whether she would even live, and if she did live, we had no idea what kind of life she would have. (If you're new to my blog and have never read her story, click on her picture on my left sidebar.)
God is good, and I give all the glory to Him for the gift and blessing of her life. He used the wisdom and knowledge of the NICU doctors and nurses to take excellent care of her. He used the advances in technology to help save her life (and her very sick, preemie lungs). It is only by His grace that she is alive and doing so well.
Praise God for this sweet and spunky, double-dimpled, green-eyed girl!
I hope her birthday was good; she said it was. I baked cupcakes to take to her class today. After school, she and I played a game of Sorry and attempted to put together a puzzle that I got her for her birthday. She enjoyed writing in a journal that her sister gave her, and after Jessica and Gib got home, we headed to Chick-fil-A for dinner (her choice).
Once home, she opened two more presents, both board games, per her request. Life and Pay Day. I can't wait until we have some time to learn both of them. :) We sang and ate chocolate cake, and by then, it was time for bed.
Her party will be Sunday afternoon, so the celebrating isn't over yet!
Dear Eggiey,
Happy Birthday sweet girl! I hope you will always know that I celebrate your life every day, not just on your birthday. I don't take one day of you being here with me for granted. You drive me crazy sometimes, but I love, love, love you! And I'm SO thankful that God chose me to be your mommy! I hope you had a great day today, and I can't wait for your party on Sunday!
Hugs and kisses and LOTS of love!
Mommy
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