Thank you for visiting my blog! If you are visiting because you have experienced a pregnancy or infant loss, let me say that I am so very sorry. I started this blog shortly after our Baby Grady was stillborn on November 12, 2008. Please visit the sidebar below called "Labels" to find the topic in which you are interested, or just read as your heart desires.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Hard Week

I've tried to keep a smile on my face this week, but truth be told, it's been a hard one emotionally. So many things that aren't all major but have piled up to be a big pile of emotional junk.

I'll try to be brief, as I know I'll visit each of these topics again in the weeks to come.

My week started out with an insensitive encounter with a doctor. Read about it here if you missed it.


I have been running in circles trying to get a CBRSB for Grady. That is a Certificate of Birth Resulting in Stillbirth. Because Grady never took a breath, he doesn't get a birth certificate. I was also told that he wouldn't get a death certificate because he never took a breath. The hospital AND the funeral home told me this. So, many thanks to people like my blog friend, Allie, who rallied GA Legislature to get the law passed to at least grant a CBRSB and acknowledge that our stillborn babies DID exist.

Long story short, I called Vital Records and sent them all the information they needed. When we came back from the beach I had a message from them. Called them back and was told they couldn't process his certificate because he wasn't in their system and I needed to call the hospital. Waited for the hospital to call me back. The manager of medical records was super nice, but said, "I don't want to sound dumb, but I have the form in front of me and I don't know what to do with it. You're the first person to ever request one."


According to the hospital, Grady's info was entered into the computer, but for some reason the state couldn't pull it up. I'm waiting to hear back from both organizations to see if they got it worked out.

It is frustrating and emotionally exhausting. There shouldn't have to be so many loop-holes to go through. And thank God I'm up for the challenge and this isn't happening right after Grady's death. That would have put me over the edge. But still...


I went back to work at the preschool this week. I am SO thankful for my job. I am SO thankful for the wonderful people I work with. I am SO thankful that I get to be a part of those little children's lives.

BUT, I'm not supposed to be there. Well I AM supposed to be there...but not according to my plans!

I should be home taking care of Grady.

But I'm not.

There is a little boy who goes to the preschool named Grady. He is a precious, beautiful boy with wonderful parents. Every time I see him, it reminds me of my Grady and the fact that I won't see him grow up. Every time I hear his name called it reminds me that I'll never get to call my Grady by name.

Remember this post about the wonderfully sweet family in my subdivision? We shared the same due date...I thought she was having a girl, but at the Easter festivities I learned they had a boy...I felt like I had been slapped in the face because I was staring at a baby who should be just the size of Grady?

Well, they also have a two-year old little girl who will be coming to the preschool on Tuesday and Thursday. The days that I work. You cannot get to the classroom without walking right past the office where I will be. Which means that I will have to see this sweet baby every week. Twice a week.

Can I just tell you how hard that's gonna be?

And I don't want to ignore them because they're too sweet and that would just be rude. I can't do that. I don't want to do that. I've always enjoyed talking to the mom. I'm just hoping and praying that seeing that baby on a regular basis will be part of my healing and won't contribute more to my hurting heart. The encounters are inevitable...might as well embrace them and make the best of them, right? Easier said than done, but I'll give it my best shot at least.


I am always anxious about school starting and who the girls' teacher(s) will be. I'm extremely sad that Emma Grace is starting Kindergarten, so all of that added together was heavy yesterday.

BUT, Emma Grace has a wonderfully sweet teacher and para pro. They both gave me the impression that they are Christians. Her teacher was named teacher of the year two years ago. She not only won for the school but the district too.

Jessica also got a great teacher who everyone says is very good and very sweet. The nice thing about this class is that she's self-contained, which means she has only one teacher. She won't be switching between two teachers like she has done the last two years.

I also learned yesterday that there are no bus monitors on the buses this year. I didn't much like that. I have always driven Jessica to school in the mornings, and she rides the bus home in the afternoon. Not this year. They will both be car riders. I'll be spending the early part of my afternoons sitting in line because traffic is SO bad! Maybe I'll get some good books read while I'm waiting. They're at two different schools, though, which will be a challenge to get them both picked up on time.


I just haven't had it all together this week. I never did my big grocery shopping and have been going to the store to get things every day. I hate that!

Buddy has been giving me a run for my money. He's all puppy, that's for sure. He did GREAT the first few days with not having accidents in the house, but the last few days have been different. At least he's confined to the kitchen and breakfast room so it's easier to clean. But I'm ready to let him roam around the house more and be a true part of the family. We're just not at that point yet. He is doing great in his crate, though. He will go in there to get a toy or just lay down, even when we are home. I'm thankful for that!

I'm not sure what we'll do this last weekend before school starts. It's been very rainy here, so I guess much of it depends on the weather. The girls and I are off to shop today for school supplies and a few clothes. It's tax-free weekend, so I'm sure the stores are going to be super crowded.

That's about it. Not as brief as I hoped, but thanks for hanging in with me if you're still reading!

Have a great weekend!


Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I Should Be Used To It By Now

You would think that after 8 1/2 months since Grady's death that I would be used to people saying insensitive things. I know. I thought I was getting better, too.

You would think that those things would just roll off my back. That I could hold my head up high and not let it bother me.

I fooled myself, too.

I went for a physical yesterday. The doctor (not Dr. Joe) asked me how I was doing. I said "physically, mentally, or emotionally?" He looked at me kind of funny and asked me if anything was going on. I told him that I had a stillborn baby in November, but other than that, I was doing okay.

He didn't say anything but came over to check my throat, listen to me, etc. When he was done, he said, "So what did you say happened in December?" I told him again of Grady's stillbirth in November. He gave me his condolences, "I'm so sorry to hear about that", which was nice.

It should have stopped there.

But it didn't.

As we were walking out the door, he said, "Well, again, I'm so sorry. But, you know, sometimes things happen for the better."

I know I stood there with a stupefied look on my face. One thing that I have gotten better at is standing up for myself and my baby.

I said, "For the better as in how?" with a slight tilt of my head. (Being a smart "you know what") He went on to say, "Well, you know, the baby might have been born with severe problems or he might have spent his life on a ventilator. You just never know."

That's right. I'll never know. Because Grady never had a chance. I have thought of it all. Every reason anyone could think of, I've already thought of it. And it's not good enough. None of it!

I know this doctor meant well. But it came across all wrong. How can my baby dying work out for the better? Would he have thought the same thing if one of his children died before birth? Probably not.

You must think I'm a mixed-up mystery. I've said before that the silence, not mentioning Grady or acknowledging his death is very hurtful. And it is.

But it is just as hurtful to have others view my baby's death for the best. Like it was a good thing.

Is it for the best that I will live my whole earthly life without one of my children?

Is it for the best that I will never know what kind of boy/man Grady would have grown up to be?

Is it for the best that I feel like a piece of my heart has been ripped out of me?

Is it for the best that I am learning to live with grief like I am learning to live with this new puppy? ...The grief as part of my daily life. Some days better. Some days worse, even suffocating at times. It's always there, lingering, even on good days.

Is it for the best that Emma Grace asks me now, when someone else is having a baby, if that baby is going to die too? Is it for the best that her innocence (and Jessica's too) was stolen at such a young age?

I can't, for the life of me, figure out how it's for the best.

All I know is that it is part of God's sovereign plan for my life. I don't like it. But I accept it. Because it's part of His plan.

And His plan IS best. Whether I like it or not.

Sorry for the vent. I've had a hard day in general, and this has been eating at me. I feel a little better now. Thanks for hanging in there with me!


Monday, July 27, 2009

Where oh where... (updated)

...has the time gone?!?!

Summer is over for us. And I'm so sad.

Gib is back at work today. I start preplanning tomorrow at the preschool. School starts for the girls a week from today, August 3rd.

It honestly seems like they just got out. We had a great summer, but it just was not long enough.

Do you remember when you went back after summer break? It was the day after Labor Day for me. This is just too early. August is still full of summer playtime! But at least they start in August this year they started on July 25th!

I am not one of those moms who wishes my kids to be back in school. Yes, they argue. Yes, I get tired of hearing them. Yes, they get bored. But I LOVE having them at home with me!

In anticipation of our summer ending, I convinced Gib to go tubing last Friday. It was his first and last trip, I do believe!

The girls wanted to go last summer, but I was pregnant with Baby Grady. NOT a good pregnant activity, I'm afraid, especially for me. We couldn't go with a group of our friends this year because we were leaving for the beach the next day. (and if you know me IRL, then you know that I tend to procrastinate and had too much to do!) So, I thought it would be a cheap, fun family activity.

And it was.

Kind of.

We drove to little "touristy" town called Helen, which is in the north GA mountains. It's a little over an hour from our home, and it is beautiful. The town is based on the German culture with lots of shops, restaurants, bed and breakfasts, horse and carriage rides, putt-putt, and tubing, among other things.

It only cost us $3 per person for a 2-hour float down the Chattahoochee River. But, we didn't exactly float too much! The first stretch was shallow, and we spent a good bit of time stepping falling on the rocks to get our tubes down the river. Thankfully, my friend next door let us borrow their water sticks to help us when we got stuck. They were so helpful, but there were times when we had to just get up and walk to get past certain rocks.

However, they weren't so helpful when Gib whacked me, HARD, in the head with his stick! I'm laughing so hard I can hardly type this. It really was funny. But not so funny to him, at the time. (Now the tears are rolling down my face!) I'm just glad he whacked me and not a stranger because it really did hurt!

At one point, not long after his batting practice with my head, I looked behind me, and he was stuck. As he stood up to un-stick himself, he mouthed to me, "I'm done", with a not so happy look on his face.

Poor thing. We were only about 10 minutes into the 2-hour long adventure!

His tube was latched to Emma Grace's and mine to Jessica's. We had planned to switch at some point but never did. Jessica was having a good time until she saw a snake. Thankfully, I did NOT see it! She claims she saw three and is adamant about it, but I'm not sure. However, there was a little boy in the water on some shallow rocks, who was tiptoeing away, saying repeating "There's a snake right there". There was another lady who was tubing away from the river bank who said, "Don't go over there. There's a snake". So, they very well could have been out that day, and Jessica might have really seen three. I don't know. I do know she's NOT in a hurry to go back, and I'm GLAD that I didn't see any!

Jessica and Emma Grace both fell out of their tubes once. I almost got flipped, but somehow saved myself. I thought it was fun, but it definitely wasn't quite as relaxing as I imagined. I couldn't take my camera on the river, for obvious reasons, but I snapped a few when we unloaded from the water.

We boarded a bus that looked just like this to take us up the river.

Here are the girls after our adventure.

We brought a picnic lunch and ate by the river, while watching fellow floaters come in from the water. (The sun was in Jessica's eyes)


And before I go, a picture of Buddy from yesterday. He loves to be in the grass, but only when it's wet and cold.

When we tried to take him out during the heat of the day, he would whimper and whine. But in the morning and evening, he LOVES it!

And I told you he was a snuggler!

He has done great the last two nights in his crate, but he is showing his true colors this morning! I think he's finally comfortable enough to be his little puppy self. He's so cute, but he's been a handful already this morning.

Hope all of you have a great day!


*****Updated to ask: PLEASE, PLEASE get on your knees with me to pray for Stellan. Click here to read the latest. He is NOT doing well and needs a miracle that can only come from above. The latest twitter update on MckMama's left side bar said that Stellan is being airlifted to Boston. Thank you for helping to cover this precious baby and his family in prayer.


Saturday, July 25, 2009

It's a Boy!

The girls have been on pins and needles today. They anxiously awaited a phone call for us to pick up our new four-legged-furry family member. They even made two very colorful pictures to welcome him home.

Meet Buddy!

It was hard for me to get great pictures, but this is his mom, Zoe.

And his dad, Samson.

Buddy is a 7 week old purebred Golden Retriever. We met him earlier this week, and we all fell in love with him! We all love dogs, but Gib did NOT want one. How we convinced Gib to let us get him, I'm not sure. Well, truth be known, I think this little guy stole his heart!

Gib held him for a long time when we were visiting the puppies. By that night, we had decided to make him a part of our family, and we're all super excited that he's here! Gib too!

Gib gave Jessica a run for her money. I truly think he would have let her get the dog anyway, but he played a game of "high-low" with her. We could only find the Uno cards. They were tied, one to one. By the third draw, Jessica drew a 3. Gib said, "OK. There are many more numbers higher than 3. Your only chance of getting a puppy is if I draw a 1 or 2". He had a 1 in his hand. You should have seen Jess jumping up and down. She even did a few cartwheels through the family room. Needless to say, she was beside herself with excitement.

The girls used some of their own money to buy his bowls, collar, leash, brush, shampoo and some toys. They had a great time picking things out for him. Jessica wanted to clean his bowls yesterday. She and Emma Grace each washed one. Jessica rinsed and dried hers. It is stainless steel, and it was spotless and so clean that it shined like a mirror. She held it up and asked, "Momma, do you think this is clean enough for Buddy?" Oh my. I think he's going to be spoiled!

Jessica has wanted a dog for about two years. It was earlier this year when she wrote a persuasive paper (you can read it by clicking here) and put together a power point presentation, BY HERSELF, as to why we should get a dog. She has waited a long time. She was talking to me about it yesterday, how the waiting was so hard. I told her "Good things come to those who wait". Oh, how I wish I believed that was true in all of life's circumstances.


The big debate right now...where is he going to sleep? The girls are arguing because they both want him in their room. We might keep him in our room. We have a small crate for him so hopefully he'll feel secure wherever he ends up tonight.

He's very happy sprawled out in the kitchen floor right now.

He got a bath when he first got home.

We loved on him for a while.

Took him on a short walk right after dinner and he's worn out.

Hopefully we'll have a good night. He's a love already! Such a snuggler, too! We loved that about him when we first met him.

These are both very happy girls!

But this one is especially giddy!


Thursday, July 23, 2009

A Meltdown With Meaning

I wasn't going to blog tonight. But Emma Grace had a HUGE meltdown. Which triggered my need to blog.

She was beyond reasoning with, and it was clear she just needed to go to bed. No form of discipline was going to work. She was past her point. Almost to the point of being out of control.

That can be very scary and disheartening as a parent to see your child in such a state. Maybe your children never reach this point, but Emma Grace does occasionally. I've found the best thing to do is just to sit with her and start talking in a very soft voice. One that is very hard for her to hear unless she becomes more quiet. It usually works, but it takes a huge amount of patience on my part. Because as parents we expect and desire our children to obey immediately when told to do something. But with a strong-willed child, like Emma Grace, the truth is, it just doesn't always happen that easily. I'm not willing to force more discipline on her to get the behavior that I desire. I've tried that in the past, and it only escalates her to a level far beyond where she is at that moment. Maybe I'm wrong in my approach. I know I do things wrong, and I've never professed to being perfect...far from it in fact! But it is usually successful. Once I get her calmed down, we can talk, and I can reason with her better.

Their BFF, Sidney, is having a sleepover tonight, so of course she didn't want to go to bed before them. She was very upset, and I asked her if she wanted me to rock her in Grady's rocker. Her answer, of course, was yes. Who wouldn't want to be rocked and cuddled? (We do not do this often, so it is a treat. I think we've only rocked in there once before.)

I guess I need to confess that we rocked Emma Grace at bedtime until last October when we moved the rocker from her room in anticipation of Grady's arrival. Remember, I said there were some advantages to being small, right? I guess that's one of them.

Oh, and don't feel too sorry for Jessica, because we rocked her until we moved the rocker for Emma Grace to come home from the hospital. And she wasn't so small! She was four and about as big as Emma Grace is now!

I've always loved rocking my children. When Jessica was a baby, I was catching a lot of slack from people about rocking her to sleep. But I loved it and couldn't imagine it any other way. She didn't need to be rocked at all hours of the night, only when she was initially going to sleep. I was talking to another mom, who was older than me at the time, and she said, "If it's not a problem for you, then it's not a problem".

It was one of the joys of being a mom. I LOVED every minute of rocking Jessica and Emma Grace to sleep. Now, this won't surprise you, but Emma Grace DID want to be rocked all hours of the night.

But you know what?

It still wasn't a problem.

It was a joy!

I had prayed for her to live and come home and be in my arms. And there she was. And I didn't take one minute of it for granted. There were days when I was so tired, and Gib too, that I didn't think we would make it to bedtime that night. But I can honestly say that I don't regret it for one minute. I think Gib would agree.

Those are sweet memories. That is time I can't get back.

And I miss it!

With every ounce of my being.

With all of my heart.

I was rocking and singing to Emma Grace in Grady's room tonight. It was dark. The door was closed. And after she was asleep, I just held her on my chest, rubbed her hair, kissed her head and listened to her breathe.

I thanked God for my children, both near and far.

I remembered when the girls were both much smaller...what it felt like to rock them.

I closed my eyes and pictured, with deep longing in my heart, what it would be like to hold Grady...

In that room.

In that chair.

To sing to him.

To rock him.

To listen to him breathe.

To feel the weight of his body on my chest.

I miss it.

And I miss him.

But tonight, I'm so thankful for Emma Grace's meltdown. For it brought me a moment of clarity and reflection on the love I have for my children. That I need to constantly be mindful of the time that I have with them...for I cannot go back in time. No matter how hard I try. I can only look forward, to tomorrow, and the opportunity to love them, hug them, cherish them, and the chance to make more memories with them that I can reflect on in the years to come.


Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Blueberry Picking and My Aunt Juanita

We were so bummed that we missed picking blueberries this year. We don't eat huge amounts of them, but we do love blueberry pancakes and blueberry muffins. I was talking to my aunt yesterday, and she asked us if we wanted to come pick blueberries at her house. We jumped on that opportunity. Not just to pick blueberries, but to see her and spend time with her.

Let me introduce you to my Aunt Juanita.

My mom was the middle of three girls, and Aunt Juanita is the youngest. As I'm typing this, I've decided to make this a Wednesday's Walk. I wasn't going to participate this week and was only going to share about blueberry picking this morning, but suddenly it's turning into something more. SO fun for me!

She is such a special woman. My mom's older sister, Aunt Helen, is also very special to me. But, I have more memories with Aunt Juanita because she was divorced when I was young and spent LOTS of time with me. I could share a ton of memories with you, but I will share one from childhood and one from adulthood that stand out the most.

When I was little, Aunt Juanita would come visit me (well, she probably didn't come just to see me, but I liked to think she did!). I loved this time because she would cuddle on the sofa with me and draw me the most beautiful pictures. She is quite talented, and I used to be in awe of her creations. She would love on me and kiss me until I was blue in the face. But it was never enough. I LOVED for her to come visit. (To this day, occasionally I will get a painted envelope in the mail from her with a sweet note in it. Special indeed!)

One of my favorite memories from adulthood happened in the waiting room of one of my mom's doctors. My aunt had brought my mom down for an appointment, and I met them. We were going to have lunch, and my mom was going to come home with me for the afternoon. My mom was back with the doctor, and for some reason I hadn't gone with her. We were sitting in the waiting room and a man walked to the receptionist's desk only to be told he was in the wrong building. The man was so upset because he was told to come to that location and his ride dropped him off and left. He was going to have to walk to another office which was a good distance from where we were. My aunt heard what was going on and immediately stood up. She walked over and asked the woman where the man needed to go. Without a moment's hesitation, she said she would be happy to drive him. She gathered her purse, without any fear, and walked out with that man to take him to his destination. When she left, everyone in the waiting room looked at me in amazement. I have to admit I was a little worried about her safety. After all, this was a complete stranger, but I don't know when I've ever been more proud to know someone in my life. She is one of the most selfless people I know. She will do absolutely anything for anyone and would give you the shirt off her back if you didn't have one.

She is a Godly woman, who loves the Lord with all her heart. She is wise, funny, loving, kind, generous, and any other affectionate word you can think of. I love her SOOO much!

She has been by my side through each tragedy in my life. If my memory serves me right, she came to Columbus, GA when my dad was in the hospital fighting for his life. He had a terrible accident while we were out of town for the weekend in a little town called Moultrie, GA. I am pretty sure I remember going into the ICU to visit him with her. I couldn't go in with my mom, and I'm not sure why. I think it was because my mom fell apart when we visited, but my Aunt Juanita was strong for me. I was only 13 years old. I'm not sure that I'll ever be brave enough to share the details of it here, but he died and did not come home with us.

When I was on bed rest with Emma Grace, she visited me in the hospital. She was there when the neonatalogist came in to prepare us for the worst. She kept a positive attitude and was quick to remind me that God could do anything.

When my mom was dying, she was there. She visited often and brought food. The week that we knew my mom would go be with Jesus, she came more frequently, brought more food and sat by her bed with me. This was her sister she was losing, and she was sad. But she was still a pillar of strength and an amazing source of faith for me.

Six weeks after my mom died, Gib had a heart attack. Not a true, "blockage" type heart attack, but lack of oxygen to his heart muscle from constriction of an artery. He still had to have a heart cath. I was sitting alone in Gib's hospital room and in she walks with her beautiful smile and a huge hug for me. She said I couldn't be there all alone.

When Grady died, I asked for no visitors. I know it broke her heart (and my Aunt Helen's heart, too), but she respected my wishes and didn't come to the hospital. She couldn't stand the distance that I created between us. A few weeks after, she popped by one day for a visit. Thing was, I had gone to get Emma Grace from school and stopped by the grocery store. She knocked on a couple of neighbor's doors until she got someone and made sure they would tell me that she came to see me.

I think I've painted a pretty good picture of why this woman is so special to me. I have GREAT memories of her and blueberry picking today was just one more to add to my memory bank!

We all picked blueberries and ended up with about two gallons. This is Aunt Juanita's husband, Uncle Lawrence. He ended up picking with us too!

Jessica was brave enough to feed the goats but Emma Grace chickened out!

We sat in the swing and enjoyed the unseasonably cool weather this morning.

Emma Grace, of course, cannot sit still very long. She became highly entertained by this huge worm!

Aunt Juanita even taught Gib how to use a skill saw. (I think that's what it was called) I had put the camera away, or I would have taken a picture of that, too!

We had a GREAT morning! A day I won't soon forget! Thanks for walking with me today!

"I love you Aunt One Wee Wee!" (what I called her when I was little)


Sunday, July 19, 2009

We're Home (and a few more pictures)

We made it home! It was a great trip, but there is truly no place like home. We were all so happy to be in our own beds last night!

The weather was great! It only rained twice, but even then it didn't rain the whole day. The girls absolutely amazed me in the ocean! Jessica bought them both a boogie board, and they had a blast Thursday and Friday "riding" the waves.

I was a bit of a nervous wreck Friday, though. There was a red flag, and the waves were rough. Gib took the girls out, and I stood close by, in knee-deep water, to watch and run if I needed to. (Did I mention that I'm not crazy about getting in the ocean?)

Jessica did great with the waves but got a little frustrated that she couldn't go as far or as fast as Emma Grace. I know she likes being the big sister, but sometimes I know she wishes she was as small as Emma Grace. 'Cuz there are some benefits to being small, you know!

Gib pushed Emma Grace with a wave on her board, and she face-planted right into the water. I guess it was really the sand! One minute she was charging forward, and the next we see two little feet straight in the air. She did a "head stand" (as she called it) in the ocean. She got up, Gib got to her, and after coughing and sputtering, she said "Let's go to the pool". Gib said they needed to ride one more wave, and I think they did about 10 more. She loved it! They both had a blast. But I can't tell you how my stress level decreased when they were out of that water!

We mostly ate in the condo, but we did go out to dinner twice and lunch once. We also took the girls to ride go-carts. It was so much fun, but they bounced us silly! Believe it or not, I had never driven one, and it was a first for the girls. Gib drove Jessica and they went as fast as they could. Emma Grace got stuck with me. We went fast enough, but not as fast as they did! Part of my problem was that I couldn't keep my flip-flop on! Note to self...DO NOT wear flip flops to drive a go-cart! I had no choice, though, because I didn't take any tennis shoes.

Friday morning, I woke up very early and couldn't go back to sleep. I decided to get up and sit on the balcony, listening to the waves. When I looked up in the sky, it was cloudy everywhere except right in front of me. There was one star shining so bright it was unbelievable. It made me think of Grady. I've never shared my "star" story, but I will eventually as part of Grady's service.

Here are a few more pictures from our trip...

Hangin' at the pool Wednesday. Check out Gib's pink hat! It's really Jessica's, but we forgot his. By the middle of the week, his head was hurting from the sun. Jessica very kindly offered him her hat since she wasn't using it. We could spot him from a mile away!

We didn't get a family picture, but here we all are at dinner Wednesday night.

Emma Grace was so tired. Jessica was holding her, rubbing her face. Too sweet!

The girls just had to have something from Starbucks. Thursday morning they indulged in a double chocolatey chip frappucino. Can you tell they're freezing?

We moved outside by the pool, but they were still cold!

After dinner Thursday night, we went on the beach, outside of the restaurant, to take these.

Heading out into those big waves Friday with Daddy.

Have a great night!


Thursday, July 16, 2009

Short But Not So Sweet

Today is a hard day for me. I'm supposed to be getting dressed to go out to dinner with my family, but I'm stealing 10 minutes to type this.

Maybe it was the cute swim shirts for baby boys that we saw this morning.

Maybe it was the baby boy onesie that said, "My fingers might be small but I can still wrap mommy around them".

Maybe it was the baby boy t-shirt that said, "A bad day fishing with dad beats a day shopping with mom".

Maybe it was the tiny Mickey Mouse boogie board that Gib found and said, "Here's one for Grady".

Maybe it's that everywhere I turn there are baby boys.



I'm so trying to keep positive. I'm so trying to enjoy the moment with my beautiful girls and wonderful husband.

And I am having a good time.

Today has just been a HARD day. A day where the lump is continually in my throat and I'm doing the best I can to swallow it down. Because if I don't, it will explode out my eyeballs in the form of tears.

Nothing is ever easy is it? Not even vacation. And it doesn't help that I'm so sad it's almost over!


Wednesday, July 15, 2009

A Quick Hello

Just wanted to say a quick hello from PCB! We're having a GREAT time! I can't believe it's Wednesday already! Just wanted to share a few of my favorite pictures that I took last night on the beach.

As the girls were playing in the sand, I thought I would try Grady's name again, a little differently. I couldn't write it in the sand with the setting sun on it because the waves kept washing it away. Frustrating to say the least!

I did NOT tell the girls to pose like this. I just told them to sit beside his name. Guess they were in a posing mood!

My two beautiful girls! I picture these in a collage on my wall!

Off to get swimsuits and sunscreen on for another sun-filled day at the beach! Hope y'all are doing well!