Thank you for visiting my blog! If you are visiting because you have experienced a pregnancy or infant loss, let me say that I am so very sorry. I started this blog shortly after our Baby Grady was stillborn on November 12, 2008. Please visit the sidebar below called "Labels" to find the topic in which you are interested, or just read as your heart desires.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Just Curious...

WHO ARE YOU?

I'm so curious to know who reads my blog!

I have about ten faithful readers that I know for sure. When I put up a new post, I get about 75-100 hits. I only have 35 followers, half of who are real life friends, many of whom haven't read my blog in months. I'm just excited and amazed that anyone wants to read what I have to say!

I don't blog to get followers or to see how many "hits" I can get. I blog about my family, my thoughts and my heart.

BUT, I'd love to get to know my readers, even if you're a "lurker"! If you have a minute, leave me a comment and introduce yourself! You can post a comment under anonymous if you don't have a blogger/google account, and then put your name at the end of your comment. Or, you don't have to disclose your name - that's perfectly fine too! I would love to know the state or country where you live, though. Just to make it a little more fun!

If you'd rather not leave a comment, feel free to email me at tonyatalkemail@yahoo.com. It is also listed on my left sidebar.

This is going to be fun! Thanks for playing along!

Love,
Tonya

Sunday, September 27, 2009

My New Look

No, not my hair! My blog!

I'm not 100% sold on this new look. I wanted something different, so I chose this the other day. It's called "pumpkin bread". And I LOVE pumpkin bread! And I LOVE those pumpkin/chocolate chip cookies that a friend of mine makes...

...but, I hate pumpkin pie!

Strange, I know.

I wish I had the moolah to spend on a professional blog look.

Why?

Because I just do!

There are some really cute free backgrounds, but I ran out of time and chose this one. I'm not sure how long it's here for...

I wish I was daring and could go a little crazy on a real new look this week. I have a hair appointment Wednesday morning, and let me tell you, it won't come fast enough! I'm OVER it!

Does that ever happen to you? I'm sure I'm the only one, right?

I wish I could just chop it all off, but seeing as how my hair is naturally curly, that would probably be a very bad idea. At least if I wanted to look somewhat presentable to the general public! Not to mention that my most prized and cherished CHI flat iron is broken, and I haven't sent it off to be fixed yet. It's only been broken for about a month now.

Sigh.

Enough about new looks...

In other news, we took a very big step with Buddy yesterday. We removed the barricades that kept him confined in our rather spacious kitchen/breakfast room. He now has free reign over the house.

Almost.

We keep the doors to the bedrooms, bathrooms, and playroom closed. He has had a few tee-tee accidents on the carpet but I expected that. Overall he's done really well.

We took him to Jessica's softball game Thursday night and he did great! Kids were all over him and he was very pleasant and tolerant of them. I must say that I'm a proud "puppy-mama"!

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We hosted our small group at our house tonight. It kicked my rear in gear to clean my house good. ALL rooms are clean, even the playroom.

Oh, the playroom...

My girls have way too much stuff! Jessica said they needed a little help cleaning it. Let me tell you that when I got up there I couldn't walk.

Literally!

It was the biggest mess I've ever seen. I don't go up there often. Why? Because I have no reason to. But rest assured that that most certainly WILL change! I will do weekly checks (at the minimum) to make sure that it NEVER gets that bad again. I was so disappointed that my girls would treat their stuff in such a way. And one thought has definitely weighed on me...

They have so much stuff, they can't appreciate what they have.

I really want to donate some of it, but I want to donate it to the right place/organization. If any of you have any ideas (preferably local) that would be great! I want the girls to see how blessed they are. I want to instill in them a spirit of giving, not just of their junk, but of their nice stuff that they don't often play with. And that would be lots of stuff!

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This has been a very rambled post, and will be for just a wee bit longer. I truthfully sat down to write about "Worry" again, but I'm just too tired. I need to work on it when I'm fresh and more awake. I know I've told you how much I love our church before, but the last few sermons have been AWESOME! And I love the music! I am VERY much ministered to through music. Today we had the privilege of having the band "Echoing Angels" lead our worship. If you listen to a Christian radio station, you've probably heard them. It was WONDERFUL!

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My breast cancer walk is this coming weekend. My foot is much better, but it's definitely still sore. I'm honestly very worried about how I'm going to complete this walk!

Prayer! Prayer! Prayer!

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The weather is turning fall here. I just took Buddy out a few minutes ago and there is a definite chill in the air. Fall is my favorite season!

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I think I'm going to make this cake for Grady's one year heaven day. Don't you love it?!?! A baker I am not. A mother who loves and misses her baby boy I am, and I will go to great lengths to make that a special day, Lord willing!

I'm going to need more than just a rainbow that day...

Well, my rambling has come to an end, and I bet you're glad! HA! Hope you have a great week!

Love,
Tonya

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Why Is It So Hard?

I choose the worst times to blog. But, that's when the urge hits me.

Gib is working late, and the girls are outside playing. I should be starting dinner.

Instead, I'm posting.

And it will be short.

So many times, more than I can count, I've been told, "I just can't relate to what you're going through".

WHY?

Why is it so hard to grasp just a little of it?

I don't expect anyone to truly understand what it's like to lose a child unless they've walked those shoes.

But, in my opinion, and that's all it is, my opinion, if a woman has ever been pregnant, she should be able to grasp a little of what it might be like.

If you've ever been pregnant, you know the love and bond that forms with your unborn child.

You connect with that baby long before his/her birth.

You know the dreams you have for him/her. You already know and have planned how this little person will fit into your lives...from the room he/she will have, where his/her car seat will be in your car, where you will put the swing, where you will put the bassinet in your room, where his/her high chair will rest, where he/she will sit at the dinner table, how you will grocery shop, how different trips/vacations will be, the excitement of holidays, etc.

You get my point.

So, why is it so hard for people (mothers especially!) to relate to this loss? They're the ones who have said they can't.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't understand....

Love,
Tonya

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Rainy Saturday

Well, today is a wash.

Literally!

If you could see how hard it's raining here right now, you wouldn't believe it. The pictures don't do it justice, but here's the view from my front door.



Here's the puddle from the downspout by the garage.



The girls have made a roped-off fort in the living room.






Gib is watching football in the bedroom.

I'm blogging about something easy because my post about "Worry" is too in-depth for me today.

I hurt my foot last night which isn't good news for my breast cancer walk in two weeks. Buddy pooped in the neighbor's yard, and I didn't have a bag to scoop it in. I went in to get a bag and on my way down the drive, my flip flop got caught in the crack of the drive where the cement comes together (kind of hard to explain), and I twisted my ankle. It hurt so bad that I had to sit down for a few minutes and could hardly get up. I limped to the neighbor's yard, scooped the poop and made it back into the house. Meanwhile, I saw the girls from the playroom window just staring at me and my hobbling self. Jessica said she thought it was me, but wasn't sure if I was a kidnapper or not. She's my "safety girl".

You probably aren't interested in seeing my feet today, but I'm going to show you. HA! It's hard to tell, but here's the hurt foot.



Here they are together. Can you see the left one is swollen?



Gib brought me flowers on Wednesday, just because. I love surprises! I was completely surprised to find these beautiful lilies that had opened up yesterday morning.




I love lilies. I have always thought they were beautiful, but they have special meaning to me now. The year before my mom died she begged me to come help her plant some flowers. I really didn't want to because it was hot and the mosquitos were bad. But she really wanted them planted and wasn't physically able to do it herself. I actually enjoyed it. She had such a green thumb which I did NOT inherit! We planted all sorts of lilies. She died the following April and it was such a blessing to see those lilies bloom again.

I'll leave you with a picture of Buddy, except he's with Emma Grace this time. He's getting better and she's getting braver.




Have a great weekend!

Love,
Tonya

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Taco Soup



Remember when I used to do Wednesday's Walk? Well, it hasn't completely gone away and there are still two parts of Grady's service that I want to share. But, Lynnette has started something new called "So We Don't Forget". You can click on the button above to learn more.

This is my first time participating, and today is a little different in that we are supposed to share one of our favorite main dishes for fall. I have several that I could post, but I've chosen my Taco Soup recipe. I got this recipe from my sweet friend Lee Ann. I have made it countless times because it's hearty, yummy, filling, and best of all, EASY!

TACO SOUP

1 lb ground meat (beef, turkey, chicken)
1 package of dry taco seasoning mix
1 package of dry ranch dressing mix (found in salad dressing section)
1 can petite cut diced tomatoes
1 can Rotel
1 or 2 cans of corn
1 can black beans
1 can pinto beans

Brown meat until done. Mix all ingredients together in pot. Do not drain cans. You can add a little water if soup is too thick. Bring to a boil, and it's ready. Serve with a dollop of sour cream and shredded cheese on top, if desired. Great with tortilla chips for dipping.

YUMMY!

You can make this as spicy as you like. I use mild taco seasoning and mild rotel because of my kids, but you can use the regular or hot versions if you want a little more "kick". I have also made it without the meat before. You can add extra beans to make a hearty vegetarian version.

This is a definite favorite for our family! Hope you enjoy it, too!

Love,
Tonya

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Ten Months and Tiny Toes

Today is 10 months.

It's hard to believe that it has only been that long when it seems like an eternity in my heart.

I saw a quote somewhere (actually it might be the name of a blog, I'm not sure). I'm also not 100% sure exactly how it was worded, but the meaning struck me.

It was something like, "Born still, but still born". Or it might have been "Stillborn, but born still".

Nonetheless, it means the same both ways...

Just because Grady was still when he was born doesn't take away from the value of his life. He was still born, just as every other baby. I have a scar to show where and how he was born. My milk came in to nourish him as if he were still alive. (I wish God could find a way to prevent this - it really is a cruel joke when your baby has died!) He was born with a completely beautiful baby body. From his head full of dark hair all the way down to these perfect toes on his big, long feet.



This was originally the only picture of his feet that I had. Back in April, I emailed the NILMDTS photographer to ask if he had any pictures of the tops of Grady's toes. I couldn't remember what they looked like. I wanted and needed to know if they looked like his sisters.

To my shock and surprise, he emailed this to me.



He questioned himself as to why it wasn't included on my DVD. I'm not sure, but I know that at the time, I needed something else of Grady. This picture was truly a gift. I realized that I had never shared it on my blog, and thought today would be as good a time as any.

And his toes did indeed look like his sisters!

I'm so thankful for all of you who read my blog. But, today, I'm especially thankful for those of you who know my pain. It is indescribable. It seems like everywhere I turn, people minimize my loss. They minimize the impact that losing Grady has had on me. They expect me just to pick up and move on as if it never happened.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again...

I will never be the same person I was before Grady lived his short life and died inside of me. If any of you are reading this, and expect that to happen, I can tell you right now that it won't.

God has allowed this pain and heartache in my life for a reason. I accept that. I'm still learning to live with this grief because it can be crushing, still, at times. I know and trust that He has great plans for me to use this experience in a mighty way to reach out to others. I will rejoice in every day that I'm given here on earth with my family and friends. But I do long for the day that I join my baby, parents, and the others who wait for me in heaven. I long for the day where I only feel joy and there is no more pain, hurt and sadness.

God has carried me, and I'm trusting Him to continue doing just that.

Because days like these aren't easy.

Today is a day there are only one set of footprints in the sand.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the privilege to know and carry Grady for the short time that I did. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Thank you for choosing me to carry one of your angels here on earth. Thank you also, Lord, for carrying me through each day of this journey. I don't know where I would be without your love and comfort. Your ways are not my ways, and I trust that yours are better. You never said it would be easy, but, Lord, it is hard.

Thank you for my beautiful children I have here with me, but Lord, I do long for the one who is not. Please scoop him up and tell him how much his Mommy loves him. Please tell him "Happy 10 month Birthday" for me. Give him a hug and a kiss from me right on his chubby little cheek (if they are still chubby now). Please let him know that I can't wait to hold him in my arms again. But until then, I'll forever hold him in my heart.

Amen


I love and miss you Baby Grady!

Love,
Mommy

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Happy and Sad

That's what I am tonight. Such a mix of emotion.

I am happy because the Lord has blessed me with another year of life. I'm 37 today and proud of it!

I'm sad because this day one year ago, I had an ultrasound. And saw my sweet baby boy. Big and healthy and strong.

I'm sad because I looked for the pictures from that ultrasound today, and I can't find them. All of the others are in one place in his room, but none from September 10, 2008.

Now it's driving me crazy as to where they are...

I'm sad because he's not here with me.

I'm happy because I have great family and friends who sent me sweet birthday wishes through cards, presents, emails and texts.

I'm happy because I got some yummy Mexican food for lunch with my great friends from work.

I'm happy because I didn't have to really cook tonight. We didn't go out, but we had leftover spaghetti. Works for me!

I'm sad because I don't have a living parent to celebrate my life with me. The day your child is born is such a special day, and I miss birthday wishes from my mom.

I honestly feel like I'm on the verge of breaking down tonight. I miss my mom. I miss Grady. Buddy has been a pain today...acting like his old self for some reason. The girls didn't get in bed until almost 10pm because of Jessica's softball tonight. I have to wake them up again at 5:20 in the morning...thank goodness tomorrow is the last day!

I'm so happy that the weekend is coming!

One more thing...

I don't like to single out my friends' birthdays on this blog because I would never want to hurt anyone by not mentioning them. But I do have to say a special Happy Birthday to Andrea! She is my very best-est friend in the whole world. We literally have grown up together. She is exactly, to the day, three years older than me, so she turned 40 today! She was having her third birthday party when my parents called to say they had a little girl. Our dads were best friends, and it didn't occur to them that we shared the same birthday until later. She is sort of my kindred spirit. We could honestly be sisters...

Happy Big 40 Andi! Hope we can get together tomorrow! Love you!

Off to bed.

Love,
Tonya

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

20 Years!

HAPPY 20 YEARS GIB!

Today I'm doing a "blog re-run". My husband and I had our first date 20 years ago today! Hard to believe!

Below is the beginning of our lives together, which just happened to be my very first blog post...

Original Post:

Saturday, February 7, 2009
The Beginning of the Story.....

It all started in high school. I was a junior, Gib was a senior. We knew each other but not well. We had a fire drill one afternoon and found ourselves talking to one another. I thought nothing of it until a couple of days later. I got a phone call. It was him, asking me on a date. I was shocked! Stunned, in fact, because I'd had the BIGGEST zit on my nose the day we were talking. You know the kind that hurts days before you can actually see it - yeah, that kind. Felt like Rudolph and was mortified! I agreed to go on a date that Saturday night.

There was a football game the night before. I was on Drill Team (do they even have those anymore?). We were doing our routine before the game began. Gib happened to be a team captain that week, so he was already on the sidelines. When I did my little twirly thing and brought my head up, there he was. Staring at me with the most beautiful green eyes I'd ever seen. He saw me and gave me the biggest smile. It melted my heart, and I knew I was in trouble.

Our first date was September 9, 1989, the night before my 17th birthday. I can still tell you exactly what we both wore. I had on a red shirt, jeans and red espadrilles (I have no idea how to spell that correctly!). He was wearing a pink striped button-down Polo shirt, jeans and brown shoes. We went to Chili's, which was and still is one of my favorite restaurants. We were both so nervous, and I think it fair to mention that we had both just gotten out of long relationships (yes, crazy for high school, but oh well). Gib was so nervous that he almost knocked his plate off of the table. It was REALLY loud because of the ceramic tiles on the table. He was so embarrassed but we both laughed until we almost cried. Here's the really funny part of the date. The movie we went to see......Parenthood! Fast forward 19 years and here we are experiencing parenthood together. After the movie we went to a party and then to his house. This is when I was really impressed. I sat at an island in his kitchen with him and his dad for two hours, just talking. I felt welcomed by all of his family the minute I stepped into their home. I fell in love with his dad-such a wonderful man. I still love him to this day. He has been a great father to me, super special since my own died when I was 13.

Gib was the first one to wish me a Happy Birthday that year because I didn't go home until about 1am, so technically it was already my birthday. He was very much the gentleman, opening the car door for me, walking me to the door and NOT kissing me on the first date.

He broke my heart the following August when he left to go to college. He was going to Auburn and didn't want a long distance relationship. I was crushed! It didn't take long, though, before he was stopping in where I worked when he was in town. I would get a call every now and then wanting to know if I wanted to go out to dinner. Of course, I always went. He only went to Auburn for one year and then transferred to Georgia State. I tease him all the time that he just couldn't stand to be away from me!

We continued dating off and on for the next few years. I finally had enough of his "wishy-washiness", told him so and went out with someone else - just once to a Christmas Party - but he didn't like it at all! That Christmas is when I got a promise ring and we've been together since. The following Christmas Eve, 1994, he proposed to me on the 50 yard line of our high school football field (same place I'd gotten the promise ring the year before). We were married July 8, 1995 and the rest, as they say, is history!

I am so blessed to have such a wonderful man to call my husband. My friends all thought I was crazy for hanging on to the idea of something big with him, but I'm so glad I didn't give up. He is such a gentle man, a man of integrity, a man of God and a wonderful Daddy to our girls. (I say Daddy instead of father because anyone can be a father, but it takes someone REALLY special to be a great Daddy). So, Gib, thanks for asking....... I love you!

XOXO,
T

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

I'm So Glad It Wasn't Me...

Do you ever feel that way?

When you hear terrible news, do you ever think, "Whew, I'm so glad that's not me/my family/my child."

I have.

And I'm not one bit proud of it.

But, I can't say that I think that way anymore. My perspective has changed. Now I think, "That so easily could be me/my family/my child."

We are not immune to tragedy, hurt and heartache. No one. Not even Christians. Everyone will have a "cross to bear", a burden or trial at some point, or several points, in their lives. I just pray that when your time comes, you have the cross and know the One who died on it for us, so that you can lean on Him and the hope He gives to carry us through.

I seriously don't know where I would be today without my faith and trust in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

Moving on...

There are advantages and disadvantages to living in a small town. I am by NO means "popular". But, I've met a lot of people since moving here 3 1/2 years ago.

If I've ever wanted people to gossip, it was after Grady died. I know that sounds crazy. I know people have way better and much more interesting things to talk about than me. But I wanted to avoid the oh-so-painful question of "How's the baby?"

I know people were talking. And I'm glad because I know I would have been asked much more than I was. I remember each person who asked... Where I was... How I answered...

Everyone knew I was pregnant. Everyone was anxiously awaiting Grady's birth, just like us. Even the employees at Kroger...

For the longest time, I felt like I wore a sign on my head or my back that said, "My Baby Died".

Like the first time I went to Emma Grace's school after Grady died. It was for her Thanksgiving Feast. I walked in and felt all eyes turn to me. My sweet friend Nicole had gone with me so I wouldn't be alone. But, I tried not to make eye contact with anyone because I was fighting back tears. People either avoided me or tackled the topic outright. One sweet friend just came to me and said, "Can I just give you a hug?" Yes. Hugs are always great. Thank you, Rhonda.

Last week at Muffins For Mom, especially on Friday when it was 5th grade morning (Jessica's grade), I felt like I was wearing the "My Baby Died" sign and people were talking again. Probably not. But I had that feeling.

Everywhere I turned, there was either a newborn, an older baby, or someone who had recently had a baby. I felt like they were thinking, "I'm so glad that what happened to her didn't happen to me." "I'm so glad my baby lived and didn't die like hers did." I also felt like others were sitting at their tables saying, "Yeah. See the lady at the drink table in the pink shirt. Her baby died."

Again, let me be clear. I'm NOT trying to say, in any way, that people sit around and talk about me. I'm sure some have and maybe some still do.

So be it.

But I KNOW there are better things to talk about than me.

However, my mind was going crazy. Maybe it was insecurity. Maybe it was paranoia.

Maybe it's just utter grief that I'm still working through.

Wishing it wasn't me.

Wishing babies didn't have to die and none would again.

Ever.

But that's not reality.

We live in a fallen world. A world of sin and hurt.

Somewhere tonight, right now, someone has probably just been told their baby has no heartbeat.

Stillborn...

Have I told you how I hate that word?

I wish I was there to hold their hand.

Just to be there.

And stress how important and short the time is with their baby.

Instead, I'll just pray for them. And ask God to comfort them in ways that only He can. I'll ask Him to guide them and bring wonderfully compassionate and caring people in their path to help them along the most painful time of their life.

Love,
Tonya

Monday, September 7, 2009

A Sweet Reunion

I'm a little behind in posting this, but "better late than never" is my motto!

On August 19, 2009, I met up with one of my long-time friends from high school named Jenn.



Jenn and I became friends in 8th grade. At the time, there was not middle school where we lived, so we entered Lakeside High School as sub-freshmen. I forget exactly how we met, but we became fast friends and spent a lot of time together. We were great friends all five years of high school.

We had not seen each other in 10 years! I had last seen her a couple of months after Jessica was born. Another friend of ours gave her the link to my blog (since I'm not on facebook), she emailed me, and viola, we were back in touch. I can't tell you how happy I was to hear from her!

She came in town, and I saw her the morning she was leaving to go back to Florida. We were originally going to meet somewhere, but it ended up that I drove to her parent's house to visit. What a treat that was! Not only did I get to see her, but I got to see her baby, her parents, and visit the house where we spent so much time together growing up. It truly felt like I had gone "home" in a sense.

I had muffins for mom that morning with Emma Grace.



I headed down to Atlanta and got there about 9am. We had planned to go somewhere for coffee so we could chat. But it turned out just like always...

We settled in on the sofa, her mom and dad "disappeared" to give us time together (that always happened in high school, too), and we stayed put for about two hours just talking and catching up. It was definitely a time that I will never forget. I wish there had been more time, but I was just happy to reunite with her.

She is married to a great guy and has a beautiful baby boy named Maddox (Max for short). It was great to see her so happy, with a baby of her own. Jenn is also a baby-lovin' fool just like me. We would often spend our Friday and Saturday nights babysitting together somewhere. I loved getting to see her baby, although I couldn't help but wish I had Grady there, too. If I'm remembering correctly, her Baby Max will turn one sometime later this month.





Her parents have always been so loving toward me. They are wonderful Christians who have a true, genuine, loving spirit about them. Her mom has the sweetest voice to match her beautiful smile.



I'm hoping the time between visits with Jenn and her parents is much shorter in the future!

Hope all of you are having a great Labor Day!

Love,
Tonya

Friday, September 4, 2009

How Cute Is This?

I have a busy afternoon and not much time to blog today, but I snapped these pictures yesterday and wanted to share them. (Jessica is holding up her belt so Buddy won't chew it)







Buddy is improving, and he does LOVE Jessica. We've only made a few minor changes, but he's better already. Thank goodness because this has to work out with him! Jessica loves him SO much!

And, truth be told, so do I :-)

I'm hoping when we're done with him, he'll be "Super Dog"! (At least in our eyes)

We have a pretty busy holiday weekend ahead. Hope you have some fun things planned with your family and friends.

"See ya" soon!

Love,
Tonya

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Boring

Well, I've been a boring blogger lately. Can I be boring even though I haven't posted in a week?

My life has been anything but boring this past week. In fact, it has been extremely busy and is still coming strong!

It's only 10:35am right now, and I honestly feel like it should be about 3 in the afternoon. Seriously. Today was the first morning that I had to be at the school at 6am to help with Muffins for Mom and Donuts with Dad. The girls did exceptionally well getting up at 5:30. I was so proud of them. They didn't fuss at all and were angels getting dressed.

I walked Emma Grace to her school at the appropriate time, went back to Jessica's school to help clean up, and went back to Emma Grace's classroom to work on a project for Grandparent's Day. Now I'm home with a TERRIBLE headache and decided I should write a post or no one would ever look at my blog again!

So, here I am.

Headache and all...

This week has been super hard emotionally. I have been missing Grady SO much and feel like I'm failing miserably at everything in my life. I had a mini-breakdown before church Sunday morning and have almost convinced myself not to have more children. I need to pray more about it. I need to get Gib's opinion/feelings about it, so we'll see...

Sunday night I went to an event hosted by our church to be placed in a small group (Gib stayed home with the girls) . I had registered us on-line but they didn't have our info when I got there. They placed me at a table, which was totally a "God-thing". The man next to me asked how many children we had. Well, you know how I answer that....

"That's always a tricky question for me. We have two living little girls and a baby boy in heaven."

This usually makes people really uncomfortable, but I've decided for myself that I prefer that over the guilt I feel for days by not mentioning Grady. That's the choice I've made for myself, and I understand it's not for everyone.

The lady next to me said, "I can't believe you're sitting here because my best friend lost her baby one month ago." Now, what are the chances out of that HUGE room full of people that we would be next to each other. WOW! I know she has visited my blog, and I'm hoping that her friend will gain some hope or something from it, in addition to all of you wonderful angel mommies out there, too.

I didn't end up staying with that group. Most of them were a good bit younger than us, which I don't care about, but we were hoping for a group with members a little more in our stage of life. Turns out a brand new one just formed VERY close to our house, so I'm hoping it works out well. I still want to get to know those people from the other group, though, because the were SUPER sweet! (And let me tell you the stress and guilt I felt changing groups! It was NOT easy for me!)

Buddy started a puppy obedience class last night, and I'm working with a trainer my vet recommended. I do think there's hope for him yet!

I would love to keep typing but my head just won't let me. I'm loaded up on Ibuprofen, and I'm off to rest before tackling some chores before carpool line.

Keep hangin' with me! I AM going to be better at keeping my blog up! I just know it!

Love,
Tonya