That's what I am tonight. Such a mix of emotion.
I am happy because the Lord has blessed me with another year of life. I'm 37 today and proud of it!
I'm sad because this day one year ago, I had an ultrasound. And saw my sweet baby boy. Big and healthy and strong.
I'm sad because I looked for the pictures from that ultrasound today, and I can't find them. All of the others are in one place in his room, but none from September 10, 2008.
Now it's driving me crazy as to where they are...
I'm sad because he's not here with me.
I'm happy because I have great family and friends who sent me sweet birthday wishes through cards, presents, emails and texts.
I'm happy because I got some yummy Mexican food for lunch with my great friends from work.
I'm happy because I didn't have to really cook tonight. We didn't go out, but we had leftover spaghetti. Works for me!
I'm sad because I don't have a living parent to celebrate my life with me. The day your child is born is such a special day, and I miss birthday wishes from my mom.
I honestly feel like I'm on the verge of breaking down tonight. I miss my mom. I miss Grady. Buddy has been a pain today...acting like his old self for some reason. The girls didn't get in bed until almost 10pm because of Jessica's softball tonight. I have to wake them up again at 5:20 in the morning...thank goodness tomorrow is the last day!
I'm so happy that the weekend is coming!
One more thing...
I don't like to single out my friends' birthdays on this blog because I would never want to hurt anyone by not mentioning them. But I do have to say a special Happy Birthday to Andrea! She is my very best-est friend in the whole world. We literally have grown up together. She is exactly, to the day, three years older than me, so she turned 40 today! She was having her third birthday party when my parents called to say they had a little girl. Our dads were best friends, and it didn't occur to them that we shared the same birthday until later. She is sort of my kindred spirit. We could honestly be sisters...
Happy Big 40 Andi! Hope we can get together tomorrow! Love you!
Off to bed.