Thank you for visiting my blog! If you are visiting because you have experienced a pregnancy or infant loss, let me say that I am so very sorry. I started this blog shortly after our Baby Grady was stillborn on November 12, 2008. Please visit the sidebar below called "Labels" to find the topic in which you are interested, or just read as your heart desires.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Tidbits from T

***I'm a bit flighty in my daily life these days and apparently in my posts, too. I have several started but not finished. And when I sit to blog, I don't seem to want to go back and finish them. I start one task at home and then find myself working on something else just a moment later, forgetting what I originally set out to do.

Hmmmm. Not sure what's going on with me...

***I received a phone call yesterday from the incredibly sweet family member who gave me this laptop that I'm currently typing on. Guess what? She has a camera that she and her husband don't use anymore. And guess what else? She's giving it to me! I feel terrible taking yet another very nice item from her, but she insisted. I feel absolutely completely blessed by this gift. She is essentially giving me the "gift of time"...the gift of capturing these times with my family and this time that Matthew is a baby. Thank you! And thank you again to Nicole for letting me borrow her old one in the mean time!

***If breast milk wasn't supposed to be so good for babies, I would stop pumping. And I'm seriously considering dropping the middle of the night pumping session. But when I entertain the idea, guilt creeps deep into my heart. And I know that without that middle of the night pumping, my milk supply will suffer greatly. Just not sure I'm 100% ready to take that chance...

***I'm dreading next week already, and it's not even the end of this week! Matthew has physical therapy next Tuesday morning, a surgical consult and neurology appointment on Wednesday morning, and his 6 month shots on Thursday morning. Wednesday will be the hardest day because the appointments are the earliest and farthest away from our home. I decided to keep them both in the same day, though, so I don't have to make two trips down there.

***I feel like I haven't talked about the girls much on my blog and that it's all about Matthew. That's because, fortunately, not much has been going on with the girls. That's a good thing in my opinion!

***Jessica has decided to run track. Yesterday was the first day. I knew she would call me to come get her when it was over, but her timing wasn't so great. She called right as Matthew woke up from his nap and was ready to eat. He was a trooper, though, and managed to happily hold off until we got back home.

She brought home a report card with STRAIGHT A's! We were so proud of her because she does all of her work. We are here to help her, but she writes her own papers, does her own projects, etc. The most important thing is that she was proud of herself, as she should be! She got off the bus that day and literally skipped up the hill with a big smile on her face, chanting "Momma, guess what?" over and over. I was quickly scanning my brain about what she could be so excited about and it hit me...the report card. I guessed that she got all A's and she shouted a big "YES!". That was followed by lots of hugs and kisses and jumping. She requested Mexican to celebrate and we happily obliged. She also said she double checked that she got the right report card...funny girl!

Have I ever told you that I could eat Mexican out at least three or four nights a week?

Well, I could.

That was the first week of January right after they went back to school. It's been a while...

***Emma Grace is doing well, too. She still continues to do great in school, meeting and exceeding expectations. She is one bright little girl. She amazes me with what she can do in math, and she is an excellent speller for her age. She loves to jump on the furniture as if it were a trampoline. I keep telling her that's what they have gymnastic classes for. She is getting more and more comfortable with Matthew. However, she picks the worst times to ask to hold him...he's usually fussy from being tired or hungry. The other problem is that he's bigger and stronger and she has a hard time containing him in her lap.

***Gib is back into the full swing of things with work and school. Unfortunately, we won't be seeing much of him until the end of May. This semester is the busiest time of year for his work (testing) and this is supposed to be his hardest/busiest semester of school.

Lord, help us!

I think if he really wants to be productive, he is going to have to stay at work, after work, to get his school work done. Once he comes home, I want his help with Matthew and the girls want his attention. As much as I love having him home, I think it will be the best use of his time. We talked about this a while back and he agreed.

***Speaking of him being home, I realized again yesterday that it absolutely does NOT work for me to go to the grocery store after he gets home from work. It is impossible not to run into someone who wants to chat, not to mention it is the busiest time of the day anyway with everyone going after work. I'm going to have to manage my time better during the day and just take Matthew with me. In all fairness to myself, my plan was to go on the way home from getting Jessica from track, but Matthew had other plans. If I go that late in the afternoon/evening, it is way too late for us to be eating dinner. Everyone is tired and cranky, and my night is behind before I even start.

It's all part of being more organized, which seems to be a constant work in progress for me.


***I haven't talked much about Buddy lately. He's still around and kicking. Or tail wagging. Or begging. Whatever he does, he's a good boy. Gib still doesn't like him, to put it mildly, but he's great with the girls. He lets Emma Grace hang all over him. He stays away from Matthew and off of his blankets. I'm anxious to see what happens when Matthew's toys are all over the floor and when Matthew starts crawling. Hopefully Buddy will realize he's not a puppy to play with! And Buddy does absolutely LOVE to ride in the car. Every morning about 10 minutes before it's time to leave to take Emma Grace to school, he starts crying at the door to go. He rides in the backseat of the van and enjoys himself immensely. And he even shares the his seat when Jessica is with us. :-) He continues not to bark much which is very nice!

***It is now six hours after I first started this post. Guess I need to wrap it up and hit publish. Especially since I can't think of much more to add.

I will say this one more thing. If you know me in real life, then you know that I always used to be busy...out and about and always on the go. But not since Matthew has been born. I went to a friend's house this afternoon, and as we chatted, I told her that I feel like I've pretty much become a recluse since Matthew has been born. She very politely agreed with me. And it's true.

But you know what?

I'm really okay with it. I can't pinpoint one single reason why I'm so okay with being home. But I'm pretty sure that part of it is because I love soaking up every minute with my Little Bear. And before I know it, he will be in middle school like Jessica is now.

Time flies.

That's all.



  1. Tonya...I have really loved catching up with your life from your are truly a gifted writer! Your kids are absolutely beautiful...and you and Gib look JUST like I remember ya'll! Your girls are mini-yous, and your boys are mini-Gibbys....what lucky kiddos to have such great parents. Thanks for letting me get such an amazing glimpse into your life...and please know that you have been and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers as you travel through these crazy times. Your faith through all of your hard times has brought many tears here...thank you for being so open...and for sharing your sweet baby with us. I look forward to catching up more with ya'll....and am so excited to have reconnected as much as we have.
    Love, Shannon (Pine)

  2. Tonya, I always enjoy an update! Thanks for sharing your heart with us. Please know that I continue to pray for you...and Matthew, the girls, and Gib too.

    Linda @ Truthful Tidbits