Thank you for visiting my blog! If you are visiting because you have experienced a pregnancy or infant loss, let me say that I am so very sorry. I started this blog shortly after our Baby Grady was stillborn on November 12, 2008. Please visit the sidebar below called "Labels" to find the topic in which you are interested, or just read as your heart desires.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

RSV, Night 2, Day 3

Well, today hasn't been as good for our "Little Bear". That's his new nickname given to him by his Daddy. And I love it!

He had a decent night. He slept from 9:30pm until 4:30am again. There were a few times where he had a hard time exhaling, but for the most part he rested well.

At 4:30 he woke up with his awful stuffy nose and another blowout. Luckily, he didn't require a change of clothes this time! I fed him and gave him a breathing treatment. He was coughing pretty bad after his treatment, and he had one episode that scared the stew out of me. I woke Gib up just for moral support. I hate to be up alone at night. It really is so lonely. And scary. At least for me.

Matthew went back to sleep until around 8:30 this morning. He has gotten his breathing treatments every four hours today. He is more sleepy than normal and took a good nap on my chest earlier. He is currently sleeping again in his swing. He hasn't been nearly as hungry and has been spitting up much more than usual.

I almost took him to a pediatric urgent care center today, just to be checked again before our snow comes. I decided not to go because I really felt we are doing everything we can for him right now. Even though I'm a nurse, it means nothing when it's my child. Plus, I've never had a baby with RSV before (Emma Grace was older), and I've never worked pediatrics. I'm so fearful that I will miss something...that he will need to go to the hospital, and I won't know it. I would never forgive myself.

And if I'm truthful, I'm afraid he's going to die.


I said it.

Tough to swallow and even think about. But it's the truth. My mind can't help but "go there". It only happens in 1-2% of cases, but you know how I feel about statistics, especially the 1-2%.

I'm trying to think positive and PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!



Prayers please...for me and him.



  1. Tonya, I am praying like crazy for Matthew and his mommy. I know how easy it is to let our minds go there. I will be praying that you (and I ) can take every thought captive to Christ! Praying for healing! Love you!


  2. Night is the WORST for me. I can deal with pretty much anything the kids throw at me during the day, but night... oh it is so scary.

    Still praying for you guys!

    Hang in there! Night 2/3 after the symptoms showed up was the lowest point for Aaron when he had RSV.

  3. It's hard not to "go there" when you've "been there." Thinking of you and Matthew tonight and hoping and praying he's doing better. Praying for peace for you as well.

  4. I hope he is doing better today. As soon as I read this I stopped to pray.

    Praying for peace for you too.

    Love, Linda