Thank you for visiting my blog! If you are visiting because you have experienced a pregnancy or infant loss, let me say that I am so very sorry. I started this blog shortly after our Baby Grady was stillborn on November 12, 2008. Please visit the sidebar below called "Labels" to find the topic in which you are interested, or just read as your heart desires.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Tidbits from T

~~~Jessica pitched for the very first time in her softball game Tuesday night. Considering she has just pitched with her dad in the back yard and has had no formal training/lessons, she did pretty well. She was VERY excited that her coach gave her the chance...I was proud of her but nervous for her...Gib won't admit it, but he was nervous for her, too.

They put her in the game last night, and she struggled at the mound. They didn't leave her in long. I'm proud of her for trying! She played catcher, pitcher and 2nd base. She really loves the game of softball. I'm hoping we can find some camps for her to attend this summer.

~~~Emma Grace has been having terrible nose bleeds! She has them at random times but every night in the shower this week her nose has bled, sometimes out of both nostrils. I'm doing everything I know to stop/prevent them without taking her to the doctor. Jessica has had them in the past, so I'm not too worried. I just hate it for her, especially when one hits at school.

~~~We are winding down the school year. We only have 14 days left, and I'm SO glad! Gib will be in school/work a bit longer than the girls. We aren't sure if we will be able to take a vacation yet or not. Dr. Joe has cleared me for one in late May/early June, contingent upon a cervix that is long and closed, that is. However, timing is the issue.

We had a wonderful opportunity to go with Gib's brother and his family to the Keys. He has rented a beautiful house on the beach for a month. His wife, kids and her parents will be there the whole month, but his brother will only be there for 10 days. We really wanted to go when his brother would be there, but Gib got accepted to the University of Georgia for graduate to obtain his specialist degree. WAY TO GO GIB!!! (I swear my husband would spend his life in school if he could - he loves to learn!) He starts classes on June 4th, with an orientation on June 2nd. His brother will arrive in the Keys on June 3rd. Bummer!

We've been looking into a vacation over Memorial Day to Hilton Head, but I'm having a hard time finding a place to stay. I don't know much about Hilton Head so that makes things a bit more complicated. I've been thinking about Myrtle Beach, too. If you have any suggestions, please leave me a comment or send me an email. We prefer a place with a kitchen so all of our meals don't have to be eaten out.

~~~I'm 22 weeks, 3 days pregnant. But, I feel every bit of 30+ weeks. And I look it, too. I'm not complaining. I want to carry Dumplin' all the way to his c-section date. I'm thankful to even be pregnant again. I'm thankful that he's alive and kickin'. But it is definitely already taking a physical toll on my body. And I'm definitely waddling.

And limping. All because of the pain in my right leg and weak-feeling tailbone. The pain comes and goes and does so in varying degrees. And now I have a hurt toe to boot!

The clumsiness of pregnancy has definitely found me! I jammed my little toe into the grocery cart Wednesday at the store. (What's with me and hurt toes when I'm pregnant?! I actually broke this same toe right before we went to Disney when I was pregnant with Grady.)

~~~I had planned to spend the day Wednesday at home. I was going to rent the movie, Julie and Julia, and spend the day on the sofa. Yes, just being lazy. But a much better opportunity presented itself.

My sweet and dear blog-turned-real-life-friend, Ebe, had her baby girl, Hannah Mae. She was born at 35 weeks, 3 days and is doing amazingly well. I was planning to go to her shower this morning at 10am, but instead she is home with her baby girl. Ebe's first-born, Owen, was stillborn almost exactly one year before Grady. She then had two other early losses and now is holding a beautiful, alive, healthy baby girl in her arms. It warms my heart.

I went to visit them Wednesday morning. I held her for a while, and it was honestly wonderful. She's tiny, cuddly and beautiful. I'm SO incredibly happy for them! Here's a peak...

~~~We were going to have Subway for dinner after the game last night...I really wanted a veggie sub. (Actually, I really wanted Johnny's Pizza but my kids didn't so we settled for Subway) I sent Gib and Jessica on in while I window shopped next door. The next thing I knew they were back outside. Gib said, "Their rating is only 84, do you still want to eat here?" No. I didn't. The sad thing is this is our only Subway, and I've eaten there plenty of times. I'm not sure how I missed the rating. I am pretty picky when it comes to restaurants and their ratings. I obviously prefer a 100, but somewhere in the 90's is at least acceptable. Are you picky like that, too? We settled on Zaxby's, and I'm proud to say that we all had salad. I was impressed with my girls' choices.

~~~Jessica pitched a fit to cut grass last Sunday. It was her first "taste" of yard work. It was harder than she thought it would be...

She decided one morning this week that instead of brushing her teeth and hair for school, she would rather cuddle with Buddy.

~~~Oh, Buddy. He found another treasure this week. A toilet paper roll this time. What are we going to do with him!?!

The girls were watching tv last Saturday, and Buddy decided he needed to be between them. He actually had his head resting on Emma Grace's leg, but he lifted it when I came with the camera.

~~~This flower literally appeared from nowhere among the weeds in our backyard one day last week.

I opened the back curtains one morning and there it was, sprouted and tall and full of color. I immediately thought of Grady and the new life inside of me. I don't think I can put into words what I felt. But Gib came home from work that afternoon and saw it, too. I asked him if he remembered the flower being there the day before and he said no. His words were, "It's a Grady flower". I'm so glad he thought the same thing. Except I thought of Dumplin', too.

We still miss Grady and think about him every day.

I was talking to a sweet friend this week about how it is still hard for me to see a certain little boy who is only one week apart in age from Grady (his big sister goes to school there - I've blogged about him a couple of times in the past - they also live in our subdivision). She didn't mean anything negative or hurtful by what she said (in fact she has been very sensitive and a huge support and encourager to me - you know who you are - I love you!). I don't remember her exact words, but her response was something like, "Still? When do you think it will get better or do you think it ever will?" The answer is I'm not sure. I've come a long way in this journey. But I think anyone who has lost a baby or child struggles to see another child the same age as theirs would have been. The longing and wondering are just there, whether we want it to be or not. And I don't single this little boy's any boy, anywhere I go, who looks about the age Grady would be. This little boy is easy, though, because I know his story.

~~~Since we don't have anything on our calendar today, it's a big cleaning day here. No one is really excited about it, but my house is a bit out of control, and it's driving me crazy. Gib agreed to help me get it in tip-top shape. I'm determined we will all pitch in and keep it clean. I just can't physically do it all. Not that I don't want to, but it truly hurts me to do certain things. I'm so thankful he's willing to help me.

I do not have the gift of organizing, but my friend Leah does. She is going to come help me get things working in a more functional way in my house...that's motivation to get cleaning up and cleaning out! Gib is already clearing chairs out of the kitchen to mop, so I better go do what I can to help!

And I can't believe I'm posting this, but I think it's funny. Emma Grace literally just took this picture of me blogging upside down. She made me smile, I am in my gown, haven't brushed my hair and am slouching terribly! I need to work on that!

Have a great weekend!!!



  1. Glad to hear you guys are busy and getting ready for summer. Also glad to hear that Ebe and Hannah are doing well since she hasn't updated her blog.

  2. tonya,
    we got to when we stay in hilton head. love it!

  3. Tonya,
    I love the upside down photo EG took... that just sounds like her to do that:) What a sweet little pumpkin. Thanks for posting the pictures of Ebe too... YEAH GOD!!! You are next my dear sweet friend:) You are in my prayers everyday! The flower is beautiful and I think the same thing about Samuel when I see something sort of out of the ordinary like that... what a beautiful little added blessing that day! I am also so excited that you might be able to get away for a bit:) I secretly have thought of how you and I could meet up 1/2 way once your baby is here... could be just a dream, but it is sure fun to think about:)

    Praying for you and Dumplin' right now:) Love you Tonya!

  4. Tonya, I have not been on here in a while or at least I don't remember reading about Dumpling. I am so happy for you. Keeping you in my prayers.

  5. Tonya,

    Praying for you and good to see that you are doing well. I too am counting down the days until school is over and I can spend the summer with my sweet boy. I was looking forward to seeing you at Ebe's shower but Hannah Mae had a different agenda. :) Maybe we can get together this summer!!


    Miranda Harris

  6. C has terrible nosebleeds this time of year too! We've started using "little noses" every night before bed, and it has really seemed to help-
    Also? The subway that is one town over has gotten a 100 rating..that is where we always go-I'm with you..that rating is important! So glad everything is going well with Dumplin'-and I love the Grady beautiful :)