Thank you for visiting my blog! If you are visiting because you have experienced a pregnancy or infant loss, let me say that I am so very sorry. I started this blog shortly after our Baby Grady was stillborn on November 12, 2008. Please visit the sidebar below called "Labels" to find the topic in which you are interested, or just read as your heart desires.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Short But Not So Sweet

Today is a hard day for me. I'm supposed to be getting dressed to go out to dinner with my family, but I'm stealing 10 minutes to type this.

Maybe it was the cute swim shirts for baby boys that we saw this morning.

Maybe it was the baby boy onesie that said, "My fingers might be small but I can still wrap mommy around them".

Maybe it was the baby boy t-shirt that said, "A bad day fishing with dad beats a day shopping with mom".

Maybe it was the tiny Mickey Mouse boogie board that Gib found and said, "Here's one for Grady".

Maybe it's that everywhere I turn there are baby boys.



I'm so trying to keep positive. I'm so trying to enjoy the moment with my beautiful girls and wonderful husband.

And I am having a good time.

Today has just been a HARD day. A day where the lump is continually in my throat and I'm doing the best I can to swallow it down. Because if I don't, it will explode out my eyeballs in the form of tears.

Nothing is ever easy is it? Not even vacation. And it doesn't help that I'm so sad it's almost over!



  1. Tonya,
    Oh friend, my heart hurts for you... and I so relate... it is so hard to see all of those babies (I think there have been 15 born at church since Samuel) and all of the baby things. I have a closet full of slings, back packs, all brand new that I bought when I was pregnant with Samuel. They are just waiting to be used. I want to use them... it is so hard to see them just sitting there. UGH! It is so hard, I see all these other women with babies... sometimes complain about having to carry them, be up at night with them... OH, what we wouldn't give hey? I have to remind myself, that most babies live... I or we are the exception. Tonya, I will pray for you tonight that the Lord would lift your burden of grief... just enough to really feel His peace. You are precious to Him... don't ever forget it:) Precious to me too:) even across all of the miles. I can't believe how I so relate to my blog friends:) sometimes so much more than people I have known forever. Lifting you up before the throne of our Father tonight!
    Love you Tonya!

  2. Tonya I can relate so much to what you said. I feel like everything around me is a reminder that my son is gone....and that others have theirs. Thinking and praying for you *hugs*

  3. Tonya, I am praying for you sweet lady!
    So sorry for the hurt in your heart. I would hug you if I could. Hang in there,...God loves you, and will hold you tight..

    Linda @ Truthful Tidbits

  4. Tonya, there are days and weeks that can make it seem like even the universe is out to get you, throwing babies in your face at every turn. I'm so sorry that you are having one.

  5. Oh, Tonya. I am so sorry. I wish I could give you a big hug today. All those little beach babies...I know...
    Praying for you and wishing sweet Grady was in your arms today.


    p.s. looking forward to giving you a big hug next week

  6. Tonya, you are so right. Nothing is easy! Everywhere we turn there is a reminder of what we are missing...our boys! Grady is beautiful and I am so, so sorry he is not in your arms right now.