Thank you for visiting my blog! If you are visiting because you have experienced a pregnancy or infant loss, let me say that I am so very sorry. I started this blog shortly after our Baby Grady was stillborn on November 12, 2008. Please visit the sidebar below called "Labels" to find the topic in which you are interested, or just read as your heart desires.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Tidbits from T


Did you know that's my nickname?

Well it is.

T, that's me!

I wanted to post just random things today and was trying to come up with a name for my post. "Tidbits from T" popped into my head. So, from now on, I think when I have random things to say, the post will have this name.

I kinda like it.

First of all, thank you for enduring my post on Monday. I know it was heavy and deep. That's how I was feeling that day. My heart is still heavy for my friend, but I'm feeling better these last couple of days. Grief is SO unpredictable. It hits me when I expect it and even when I don't. It appears in ways that still surprise me and often catches me off guard.


It's raining here AGAIN! I'm thankful because we've had such a drought the last few years, but enough already! The good news is that I think we got the leak in our roof fixed. But, what a pain it is to put Buddy on the leash and go out every time he has to take care of business! I'm trying to talk Gib into an invisible fence but I haven't convinced him, yet...


Jessica is in her first play tonight. She doesn't have an actual speaking part...she's singing in the choir. This has been a great and fun experience for her, and I'm proud of her for even wanting to try out. Being in front of people has never been her "thing".

***Updated: Jessica will NOT be in a play tonight. She came home from school this morning with a fever and a sore throat. I took her to the doctor and she has strep throat. She has started her antibiotic and hopefully will feel better soon.***

We attended the rising 6th grader's parent night on Tuesday evening. YIKES! I CANNOT believe I have a child old enough for middle school. She is growing up SO fast. I'm proud of the young woman she's becoming, but I wish I could slow down time just a little. I'm not ready for her to enter this next phase. And the next. And the next. But it's coming whether I'm ready or not!

She loves this dog of ours more than ever. Emma Grace has grown very fond of him as well. Buddy has graduated from sleeping in his crate to sleeping in Jessica's room. NOT on the bed...beside her bed, in the corner, behind her reading chair. He's squished back there, but that's where he plops himself every night and I think it makes him feel secure. Emma Grace loves to love on him...a little too much at times. Grabbing him around his neck, hugging, pulling, you get the idea. And he just lets her do it. He still attacks people as they come in the front door (jumping on them), and he doesn't know how to politely walk on the leash without almost pulling me down (and literally pulling Jessica down to the ground). But overall, he's a good Buddy.

I wish I had a recent picture of Jessica and Buddy...I'll have to take one, huh?

She is gearing up for another season of softball and is very excited about it. She's not sure what position she'll play this time. She's had a private hitting lesson with hopefully a few more to come. She says she wants to learn to pitch...we'll see.


I'm getting ready for Emma Grace's birthday party this weekend. Both of my girls decided they wanted new bedding and room-makeovers as their gifts. Since bedding and accessories are not cheap, they agreed to have simple birthday parties. I usually go all out with a theme and games, but not this year. I'm starting to stress a bit about what games these girls are going to play. I have some ideas but if you have suggestions, please leave me a comment or email me!

This time of year, I always reflect on Emma Grace and her life. Each year, something new strikes me, and I become more in awe of her and her life. Of what a miracle she truly is. This time seven years ago, I was flat on my back in the bed on strict bed rest. My water had broken at 23 weeks and 4 days with her. There were NO pockets of fluid around her on each ultrasound. It's amazing that she didn't lay on her cord and compress it since there was no fluid for her to float in. It's a miracle that she had lungs to even work with after being without fluid for 12 days. It's amazing that she survived the prolapsed cord and a blessing that I found it when I did. (To read details of her story click here or on her picture on my sidebar). She is a miracle, and I can't believe she's about to turn 7. I went to the perinatal loss support group this past Monday night, and there were several couples there who had early losses around the time that Emma Grace was born. I rejoice in Emma Grace's life and the miracle that she is, but I couldn't (and still can't) help wishing those families had been granted a miracle, too. It breaks my heart for them.

I took this picture on March 4th, exactly seven years since my water broke with her. She's so crazy!


Just in case you're wondering about "my mission", I haven't posted about it in a while. I'm still on the Bereavement Committee at the hospital and attend monthly meetings. They have recently put in a proposal for a Perinatal Loss Coordinator. I'm pretty sure it will be a while before there is an answer one way or the other on the position itself, with the economy and budget constraints that all companies are facing. And, not to sound pessimistic, but I probably will not be chosen as the person for the job. I think there are probably a few current Labor and Delivery nurses who would like the position. But I won't back down easily. I will still apply if the position is approved. And if I'm not chosen, I will stay as active and involved as possible. And as Gib and I were talking, at least I was a catalyst in presenting the idea and helping to move things forward in order to assist these families experiencing such loss.


Gib is working long hours, as this is a very busy time of year for testing in the school system. He leaves home around 5am and we don't see him until around 6pm or later in the evenings. Spring Break is coming soon which he's very much looking forward to. However, he and the girls don't share the same spring break which is a bummer. Can't very well do anything as a family when that happens. Summer is right around the corner, too, and will be here before we know it.


I got the sweetest package in the mail yesterday from Aunt Barbara. She came across it while looking for another gift. It is a Precious Moments figurine with a baby boy sleeping on what looks like a cloud. It is titled, "Safe in the Arms of Jesus". Precious, perfect and heart-warming, huh? I put it on the piano beside Grady's picture. Here's a picture of it. It's a little dark because I had to take it without the flash or you could only see a big blob of white.

I love that she still thinks of Grady and lets us know it...through her words and actions. It warms my heart so. Thanks, Aunt Barbara! Here she is with my girls on New Year's Eve at a family luncheon.

And just for fun, here are Jess and EG on Valentine's Day with their little presents.

That's all for now, folks! Time to wake my girlies up for school. Have a great day!



  1. We just prayed for you Tonya, the kids and I in our morning prayer time:) Just wanted you to know!
    Thinking of you!

  2. I loved this post! Thanks for sharing tidbits from your week. And yay for Jessica. How exciting. I hope she has a good time tonight.

    Happy birthday, Emma Grace! We praise God for your life!

  3. What a wonderful post!! Tidbits from T made me smile. I love LOVED the pic of Buddy with bunny ears. What a good dog to pose like that, and he doesn't even have that "kill me now" look some animals get when they're dressed. LOL!

    Sorry to have fallen so far behind on your blog posts. My depression is lifting, thank heavens, and I'm back to paying attention to the rest of the world again!

    ((hugs)) Nicole