Thank you for visiting my blog! If you are visiting because you have experienced a pregnancy or infant loss, let me say that I am so very sorry. I started this blog shortly after our Baby Grady was stillborn on November 12, 2008. Please visit the sidebar below called "Labels" to find the topic in which you are interested, or just read as your heart desires.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Great Advice

I read some great advice recently that I want to share with you.

Not long after Grady died, my friend Amy brought us dinner. As we were talking, I learned that she had visited Molly Piper's blog to learn more about stillbirth and the grief that goes along with it. Not only did she visit her blog, she forwarded it to some of our other friends as well. This touched me that she would take the time to dig a little deeper into my loss, but I had honestly never heard of Molly Piper. Amy sent me the link, and I checked it out.

It was the first blog I visited after lGrady died. She had great information for friends but also for grieving mommies. It made me feel less alone, which is exactly what I needed. A couple of months later, through Molly's blog, I met my now "real life friend", Ebe. It's amazing what a small world we live in and how such loss can bring people strangers together.

Molly visited my blog the other day when I wrote this post about "A Nagging Feeling". I can't tell you how much it means to have other people relate to and validate what I'm feeling. She referred to what I was experiencing as "subconscious grieving". This couldn't be more true.

Molly's most recent post was about how a friend, an unmarried man, gave her a book. He didn't just give her the book. He read the book first! This made her feel loved beyond just the gift. He read it to understand more of what she was going through. Her point was that giving books is a great idea, but take the time to read it yourself before handing it over. You may feel like you're giving your friend or loved one something great, but if you haven't checked it out first, you might think twice. I believe you should take this approach with any life situation/struggle someone is dealing with, not just stillbirth/grief. What a great way to really show love to others!

Thanks for the great advice Molly! I'm definitely going to take this to heart!

I hope you will, too.



  1. I read that too Tonya and that struck me the same way. Wow, how many times have I had people, even family tell me how I should be grieving, what I should be feeling, etc etc... oh, that hurt deep, but to have someone show they care enough to actually learn more about what you are going through... amazing. I did have one brother call to tell me to take as long as I need. It was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. Thanks for posting this... there are so many times I want to tell people... you should read "this or that" just so that they will have some clue. What a journey... I so wish we lived closer:) Praying for you, I know the next couple of days may be hard. You are on my heart and in my mind and prayers. Sending you hugs!

  2. I just came across your blog and you speak to my heart. It is so hard for people to understand but I love those that try. I have said many times the people I will not be able to forgive are those who have vanished not those who have tried and done the wrong thing.

  3. I am SOOOOO grateful to have found you, but grieve over why we've met and become good friends.
    I, too, loved Molly's post about their friend reading a book on stillbirth. What an encouragement.

    love you,