Thank you for visiting my blog! If you are visiting because you have experienced a pregnancy or infant loss, let me say that I am so very sorry. I started this blog shortly after our Baby Grady was stillborn on November 12, 2008. Please visit the sidebar below called "Labels" to find the topic in which you are interested, or just read as your heart desires.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Chuckles - No Matter What

I am so very happy and pleased to tell you that on this very cold, gray day here in Georgia, sweet little Matthew chuckled for the first time! It was the most precious sound I've ever heard. Except for when Jessica and Emma Grace chuckled for the first time, of course.

He has been so close several times, and I'm not convinced that he hasn't semi-laughed before. Like just a little, heh. I really wish you could hear what I'm trying to say!

But earlier tonight, the girls were sitting behind me as I sort of dug my mouth just under his chin/cheek area, making a funny noise while doing it. He chuckled and then we scared him with our reaction. Poor baby! He didn't cry, but he was definitely startled. I did it again, and he chuckled again. Sweet, sweet! Oh, the joy. I've been waiting to hear that sweet sound!

Not long before that moment, I heard a song that I've never heard before. The title on the television caught my attention, and I turned it up to listen. It might be one of my new favorite songs, and I'm adding it to my play list when I have time.

It's called "No Matter What" by Kerrie Roberts. It absolutely couldn't be more perfect for our life, right now and in the past. The song speaks truth and straight to my heart. I'll let you google it if you want to hear it, but here are the lyrics from this site.

I’m running back to Your promises one more time
Lord that’s all I can hold on to
I gotta say this has taken me by surprise, but nothing surprises You
Before a heartache can ever touch my life
It has to go through Your hands

And even though I keep asking why, I keep asking why No matter what, I’m gonna love You
No matter what I’m gonna need You
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain
But if not, if not, I’ll trust You no matter what, no matter what

When I’m stuck in this nothingness by myself
I’m just sitting in silence
There’s no way I can make it without Your help, I won’t even try it
I know You have Your reasons for everything so I will keep believing
Whatever I might be feeling, God You are my hope
And You will be my strength

Anything I don’t have You can give it to me, but it’s OK if You don’t
I’m not here for those things
The touch of Your love is enough on its own
No matter what I still love You and I’m gonna need You

No matter what I’m gonna love You, no matter what I’m gonna need You
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain
But if not, if not, I’ll trust You
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain
But if not, but if not, I’ll trust You

No matter what
No matter no matter what
No matter no matter what
No matter no matter what

Even if we hadn't gotten good news about Matthew, God is still good. No matter what, we would choose to trust Him. I'm so thankful and grateful for this blessing. I actually spoke to the neurologist again this morning about the size of the affected area of Matthew's brain. I hope to post about that tomorrow.

If you need some encouragement and want to hear a beautiful voice, look up this song and take 3 minutes to listen to it.



  1. What a wonderful song! Thank you for sharing it Tonya.

    I love it that Matthew chuckled out loud for you. How sweet. I love your sweet little baby boy!...and those beautiful girls of yours too!

  2. I have heard that song and it is great. I am so happy that your sweet little boy chuckled for you... what a precious sound! Love you friend! I would love to see some recent pictures of that little guy!:)

  3. I'm so happy he chuckled for you. I miss those "baby" days. I'm glad the neurologist gave you good news. Enjoy Matthew and your precious girls.


  4. I absolutely LOVE this song! I had never noticed the line in it that says, "Before a heartache can ever touch my life, it has to go through Your hands" until the local radio DJ pointed it out...SO true! What a true, amazing thought!

    Continuing to pray! :)