Thank you for visiting my blog! If you are visiting because you have experienced a pregnancy or infant loss, let me say that I am so very sorry. I started this blog shortly after our Baby Grady was stillborn on November 12, 2008. Please visit the sidebar below called "Labels" to find the topic in which you are interested, or just read as your heart desires.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

An Unexpected Turn

Yeah, I know. I need to complete my pumpkin patch post. And I will.

But this is easy to post because it's just words. No pictures.

I went to a Pampered Chef party yesterday at my friend Amy Ellen's. I had been looking forward to it for a while and was super excited about ordering one of their can openers. Toward the end of the party, I was in the kitchen talking to several of the ladies. Somehow Grady was brought up. I honestly don't remember how his name was mentioned, but it happened naturally.

I knew one of the ladies from the preschool when she would pick up her granddaughters. She started asking questions about him and soon everyone was listening to the story of Grady. I loved it. And yet, I didn't. I always love talking about Grady. Honoring him by talking about him. Remembering him with others who didn't even know him, or me for that matter.

As the questions continued, Amy Ellen quietly got up and opened her cabinet. She pulled out Grady's birth announcement.


I couldn't believe she still had it from two years ago. I can't tell you how that touched my heart. (Thank you AE!) She handed it to the grandmother who then passed it around to the other ladies. I'm not real sure how they felt about looking at a dead baby, but tears welled up in their eyes as they gazed upon him.

I can tell you that I was feeling quite proud of my Grady in that moment. The beautiful boy that God created so perfectly inside of me two years ago.

That really wasn't how I pictured the party in my mind in the days leading up to it. It definitely took an unexpected turn, one that I'm not sure was okay or not. But it was what it was. They encouraged the conversation to continue. But I guess I needed to talk about him, too.

It is amazing how strong these feelings of grief still are...

And it's amazing that I'm feeling like this year might be harder than last when it comes to his heaven day and birthday.




  1. Grady was a beautiful baby here on earth and loved so very much. I am sure that he is alive in heaven with Jesus and waiting for the day you will see him again and spend eternity with him. We still miss our grandbabies and our Anna...but we know the same truth...we will be with them again.

    Love to you Tonya!

    Linda @ Truthful Tidbits

  2. Oh sweet Tonya, I am glad that you got the opportunity to share about Grady... it is always special to share about our boys... yet not always easy either. I am praying you through the next days. You and Grady are on my heart so much these days.

    May our lord graciously get you through the days ahead and I am praying that you grieve exactly how the Lord sees fit... it took me a bit by surprise this year, yet I think it was what I was meant to do... Love you sweet Friend!

  3. You are going through an awesome healing process. I love to hear this strength you have. However, I think I forgot what you look like...I know it is my fault. Love you and I will text you about seeing you on Saturday if you guys will be around!!!

  4. Tonya, the tears flowed so easily as I read your post today. I am so glad that you were able to share Grady. You will be on my the next couple of days as Grady's day comes.