Thank you for visiting my blog! If you are visiting because you have experienced a pregnancy or infant loss, let me say that I am so very sorry. I started this blog shortly after our Baby Grady was stillborn on November 12, 2008. Please visit the sidebar below called "Labels" to find the topic in which you are interested, or just read as your heart desires.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


I can't tell you how I'm dreading tomorrow. I'm having such a hard time with this whole MRI thing. I'm trying really hard to keep things in perspective.

This is just a test. It's non-invasive except for the needle stick to start his IV. He isn't having surgery like so many babies have daily. This is really minor compared to what we could be going through. I realize that. And I also know that many parents wish their baby was just having a MRI tomorrow instead of something more serious.

But ...I have all sorts of crazy fears related to the procedure. I'll just share a few...

I'm afraid that he will have some sort of negative side effects from the sedation.

I'm afraid that he will have a hard time coming out of the sedation.

I'm afraid that he will reflux and aspirate while on the MRI table, even though he won't have anything to eat after 4am.

I'm afraid they won't be able to get his IV started without multiple sticks.

I'm afraid he will be cold while on that hard table (not that he will know it).

I'm afraid he is going to be miserable and screaming hungry before the test and there is nothing I can do about it.

And as much as I want to know the status of this brain bleed, I'm afraid of what the results might be.

The bottom line is that I need to just stop worrying and give it to God. I need to rest in the fact that he is in control of this whole situation. And it could be a whole lot worse.

Will you pray with us and for us?


I knew you would!

I will be so glad when it's all over!



  1. Praying Tonya. My four year old son had to have a cat scan a few months ago, and I remember feeling many of the same things. I will certainly be praying for your sweet Matthew.

  2. Oh friend, I know. I am praying that God will carry you through. You are a courageous, strong woman and a wonderful momma. Love you.

  3. Will be praying tonight and tomorrow... I can't tell you how often I pray for his brain and heart. Will you make sure to update about how it goes at some point? Praying you have a great Thanksgiving too, my sweet friend.