Thank you for visiting my blog! If you are visiting because you have experienced a pregnancy or infant loss, let me say that I am so very sorry. I started this blog shortly after our Baby Grady was stillborn on November 12, 2008. Please visit the sidebar below called "Labels" to find the topic in which you are interested, or just read as your heart desires.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Decisions

This post was written July, 2008. We were trying to decide whether to try for another baby or not. I guess it's time to update you on the decision we made. So sorry it has taken me so long!

We didn't talk much about it after my consult appointment with Dr. Joe (explained in post linked above). Gib is a very relaxed, laid-back kind of guy, and it really wasn't a pressing issue for him.

But it was for me.

To try and condense the story a bit, I got very frustrated and made him a consult appointment for a vasectomy in late August. I figured maybe that would help him start thinking a little more about things. (And what man, wouldn't, right?) He decided not to go for the consult...he wasn't ready to make that final decision.

And neither was I.

Fast-forward a bit to Sunday, September 13th. I had really been praying, asking and seeking God to lead me and guide me with this very important decision. I was so afraid I would lean on my own wants and desires. I was afraid I would miss the answer God wanted me to hear.

But let me tell you friends, it was loud and clear.

It was Sunday, September 13th, and we had the very rare treat of Andy Stanley coming in person to speak at our church. He is the lead pastor of North Point Community Church. Our church is a strategic partner with them, and most of our sermons are of Andy via satellite (which may sound weird unless you've experienced it and then it's really not). Anyway, we made it to the PACKED auditorium that Sunday with girls in tow. He had been teaching a series called "Why Worry". He was there in person to deliver one part of the sermon called "Switching Sides".

He was teaching out of Matthew 6:25-34. It is a powerful lesson in worry if you have never read it. The scripture is great, but one thing I love about Andy's teaching style is how he helps me apply the word to my everyday life. He makes the Bible very real and even fun to learn about. Imagine that!

The words he spoke to summarize landed straight on my heart...

"Your biggest worry is God's greatest opportunity to do something unusual in your life because it's the area where you've been unable to say, 'Thy will be done'."

When he spoke those words, it was in that moment that I knew we should try again. I knew if we didn't at least give God the opportunity to show us what He wanted for our family, we would squelch Him and cut Him off before He ever had the chance to reveal His will to us. We might just miss out on a great blessing that He had in store for us. (And let me just clarify that Grady was, and still is, a great blessing to us!)

They handed out business cards that morning as we entered. At the end of the sermon, Andy encouraged us to write what we had been worrying about down on the card and place it in one of the wicker baskets placed around the auditorium. I wrote, "To have another baby or not" on my card and made my way to the closest basket, tears and all. The song we sang to close was "Take My Life (And Let It Be)" by Chris Tomlin, which is song number 25 below on my playlist if you'd like to hear it. The tears really started streaming down my face. With Emma Grace in my arms, I thanked God for revealing Himself to me that day.

That night, Gib and I actually talked about everything. He verbalized that he "wouldn't mind having another little one running around one day". So there it was. The decision to try again was made. I was so thankful and felt like a huge weight had been lifted.

Hopefully I'll have more to come on this soon.

Love,
Tonya

7 comments:

  1. Oh, thank you for sharing this. We are at the crossroads right now. I think this may be what I needed to hear at this moment. I need to "chew" on this for a while...but really, Thank You!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah! Tonya, I love you friend and miss you... So funny that I can miss someone I only got to spend one night hanging out with:) What a blessing that was to me. I look so forward to when it can happen again... I posted on my blog... a super quick update... but praise God things went our way today... it is far from over though. Praying for you Tonya:)
    Sara

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am really happy for you!!!! Sending prayers :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am so glad to hear that you were guided by God to a wonderful decision. We have to let Him carry us. Praying to hear good news soon.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi again, Tonya! Check out my blog when you get the chance...I left you a little something there. (Just copy/paste the image, or right click on it and save to your computer!)

    Hope you're having a great day!
    ((hugs)) Nicole

    ReplyDelete