Thank you for visiting my blog! If you are visiting because you have experienced a pregnancy or infant loss, let me say that I am so very sorry. I started this blog shortly after our Baby Grady was stillborn on November 12, 2008. Please visit the sidebar below called "Labels" to find the topic in which you are interested, or just read as your heart desires.

Monday, February 1, 2010

A Meeting of Hearts

Last Tuesday was wonderful! There really are no words to describe what it was like meeting Sara in person.

I had just finished cleaning at 5pm and took Buddy out one last time before Sara and her crew arrived. I had talked to her a little before 4pm, and she wasn't too far away. I thought she would surely get caught in some traffic that time of day. But to my surprise, I was outside when her big white van rounded the corner. My heart did a little flip-flop. It was so exciting! However, it wasn't exactly how I had pictured our initial meeting...I was in Gib's big 80's ski jacket, hair pulled up, sweaty from cleaning with a dog doing the best he could to pull me down to get to them.


I wrestled Buddy into the house and got him in his crate. Then the proper hello took place. Sara and I hugged and cried. And hugged and cried.

It was a moment I will never forget.

Her poor kids were ready to get out of the van, and she was freezing in her short sleeves. The kids piled out, and we plopped on the floor in my doorway. Again, not exactly what I had pictured but wonderful all the same. It was easy-going, relaxing and just down-right fun! All the kids huddled around us for a while but in no time Jessica, Emma Grace and Anna disappeared into some sort of playing frenzy.

I showed them around so they would know where everything was. Sara and I were in Baby Grady's room when Ebe arrived (my girls let her in). I was SO glad Ebe could join us for this short visit. You see, if it weren't for Ebe, I would not know Sara. I found Sara's blog through hers. And if it weren't for Molly Piper, I wouldn't know Ebe. Ebe lives about 25 minutes from me. This was not our first time getting together, but it was the first time Ebe and Sara had met, too. They embraced in a huge hug, and I couldn't help but think of the irony of it all...

There we were in Baby Grady's room. His things still in place. His absence profound. But because of him and his early entrance into Heaven, along with Samuel and Owen too, there stood three grieving mommies, connecting with such a deep level of love and understanding for each other. Connecting in such a way that the general population cannot comprehend. Our hearts had already met through our blogs. Ebe and I had met in person. Sara and I had talked on the phone several times. But for all three of us to be together was amazing. And for us to come together in Baby Grady's room touched me in a way that I just can't explain.

We ate pizza and brownies, drank lots of sweet tea and chatted until very late. The time we spent together was way too short. Sara was only here for one night, stopping in on her way home from Florida. Ebe left around midnight, and Sara and I stayed up until about 1:30 talking more. I know we could have stayed up all night, but poor Sara had a 13 hour drive home the next day.

Sara's kids were wonderful! I felt like I knew them from her blog, too. Louis, the oldest, especially stole my heart. He was so good with Baby Hope. Sara had asked him to help her with Hope that evening so she could chat with Ebe and I. Sara still did plenty, but I was amazed at how Louis took such good care of her, making her bottles and such. The love they all have for sweet little Hope is evident, and I am praying, praying, praying that she gets to stay with them.

Here are my girls with Anna and JoJo.

Louis and Caleb were on the other sofa.

I hate that we didn't get a picture of all the kids together. Next time! 'Cuz there WILL be a next time for us to get together! Jessica is ready for us to drive to Oklahoma this summer, but I'm thinking that's gonna have to wait. I'm not sure what this summer has in store for us...

Before meeting Ebe and Sara, I was super-skeptical of meeting people on the internet. I still very much believe you have to be careful. People questioned me when I said my blog friend from Oklahoma was coming to stay with us. But this is the best way I can describe it, and I'm not even sure it makes sense...

It was like being with an old friend but meeting for the first time.

Amazing time together.

Amazing friendships.

Amazing how God brought us all together through the most devastating losses we've ever experienced.

Love you Sara and Ebe!



  1. I would love to meet my cyber-BFFs!! You three are blessed to have had the chance, and I loved reading about the moment you all laid eyes on each other for the first time. It must have been amazing. Great post, Tonya! And I loved the pics!!

    ((hugs)) Nicole

  2. I love it! It's funny you blogged about this because last weekend I drove to Indiana to meet 2 mom's I met through a online stillborn support group. It was amazing being with them. It felt just as you described- meeting old friends for the first time. God is SO great and I praise him everyday for all of the blessings that have come from Caleb's short life!

  3. What a blessing to spend time together! I'm glad you were able to fellowship with them!

  4. It was an amazing night. Far too short, but a wonderful time.

    love you, see you soon,

    p.s. I'll call you later tonight, hopefully before you go to bed!