His Life

This is NOT what I started writing tonight. My heart is heavy, my thoughts are jumbled, it wasn't making sense (and this one might not either!) So, I saved the post I was working on to finish another time.

I have been pondering something for a little over a week. It has made me start thinking about Grady's life and death in a new and different way...

I read a book recently that has made me think about Grady's life and how I want him to be remembered...

...the only life Grady will have is through the life that I live.

...I carry his message because he is not here to orchestrate his own.

...I determine what that message will be. Whether it's a message of happiness or sorrow, hope or gloom is up to me.

Questions fill my mind...

What is his message? (I know what I want it to be.)

How do I live it out?

Better yet..

How do I live it out and juggle the grief that I still tackle every day?

I don't know. But I'm working on it.

Gib said something to me yesterday that is so true, always has been and always will be...

"Deep down you know you're a baby-lovin' fool".

My husband speaks truth! I am a baby-lovin' fool!

I don't want the death of my precious Grady to change that. It is an important part of me, of who I am as his mommy. As much as I've tried to deny it since his death, simply because it has been too painful to look at a newborn or think of holding one, I am still a baby-lovin' fool!

Grady's life must live on through my love for, and the lives of, other babies...even ones that are not my own.

I cannot forever turn away when I see an infant carrier at church or in the grocery store. I cannot forever see a baby and think, "I should have one in my arms, too".

Because as hard as it is, no amount of yearning will bring him back. The yearning and sorrow I feel is NOT what I always want to have as a reminder of Grady. He doesn't need to be sad for him all the time.

I don't want that to be his message.

He needs me to be his mommy...who loves him even though he isn't here...who will love him until, and beyond, the day I meet him in Heaven!

That, I know I can do!

Love,
Tonya

Walking With You - Waiting

I'm not sure how often I'll participate in this, but I think it has potential to be very therapeutic for me. Did you know that it helps someone who is grieving to tell their story? Multiple times. Once, twice, as many times as they need to! Even though it is already a reality we live with, each time we tell it is another way we can keep our memories alive. To remember the one(s) we've lost. Each time we tell it there is the potential for an "aha" moment. This is true for me, at least. I can't speak for anyone else...

An amazing woman named Kelly, at The Beauty of Sufficient Grace, came up with a new kind of walk. This takes those of us experiencing grief down a "walk" with others who have lost someone, particularly a child. Each week there is a different theme. I encourage you to click on the button at the top of this post to learn more and to read Kelly's story.

This week we are to share about our time of "Waiting". From the moment we received our life-changing news until the birth/death of our babies.

Here goes...

My actual time of waiting was fairly short but seemed like an eternity. I found out Grady had officially died around 10am on Nov. 12, 2008. He was born via c-section at 6:14 pm that same day. (For those of you who have not read his story, you can click on his picture on my left sidebar)

However, I knew the night before that he was gone. He was always an active little fella. I last felt him kick around 4:30-5pm the day before, Nov. 11, 2008. I thought he might be sleeping and was only moderately concerned when he didn't kick after dinner. I became a little more concerned when he didn't respond to his big sister's voice and poking on my tummy before she went to bed. The thought was in the back of my mind...but it was only a thought..."Surely he's fine. He's going to be born 3 days from now. He's just sleeping."

When I woke up around 1am to use the restroom and got back into bed, his quietness triggered another level of alarm in me. After an hour of praying and pleading, I got up to get my stethoscope and listen for his heartbeat. I found mine, but not his.

Nothing.

Still no movement.

Nothing.

I waited.

All night.

Alone.

Wondering...Call the doctor? Don't call the doctor?

Rationalizing in my nurse brain all the while..."If he's dead, it's too late". No reason to wake Gib, find someone to watch the girls in the middle of the night, disturb Dr. Joe. He was dead at 2am, and he would still be dead in the morning. Nothing could bring him back at this point. He'd been still for too long...

I knew all night he was gone. I hung onto, clung to, the hope that maybe I was wrong.

But I knew...

My baby had died.

I prayed that I was wrong. I prayed for movement. I prayed that God would intervene and do something. Gib prayed with me before leaving for work (I told him once he was up).

Nothing.

Once my suspicions were confirmed by Dr. Joe the next morning, he asked me when I wanted to have him. I would have walked over to the hospital right then, but it wasn't possible. I was given the choice to labor or deliver by c-section. Since I had a classical incision from my second, a c-section was mandatory for Grady's birth...as long as he was alive. But since he had died and we didn't have to worry about oxygen supply to him if my uterus were to rupture, I had the option of delivering vaginally. I opted for the c-section because I had two beautiful girls at home who needed me to be okay. I couldn't risk my uterus rupturing during labor, losing massive amounts of blood and so forth. Dr. Joe agreed, but had to give me my options.

The c-section was scheduled for 5:30pm that day.

So what did we do until then?

I so wish that I could tell you that I was on my knees, praying, seeking the Lord and His comfort. But I wasn't. I turned away from God. I was completely and totally angry with Him. I didn't want people around me. I only called a couple of people, close family members, to tell them the news.

In our time of waiting, we drove all the way back home. I folded two loads of laundry. My neighbor brought Emma Grace home from school, and Gib checked Jessica out of school. And we told them the devastating news. I consoled Emma Grace, who was beside herself heartbroken, got the girls with packed bags to the neighbors house and drove the 45 minute drive back to the hospital.

Oh, we did have to stop at Kroger to get gas and some cash on the way. Which is where I saw one of my friends in the parking lot who kindly, innocently stopped and happily said hi. To which she was met by a wandering woman in shock walking to meet her husband to drive her to the hospital to deliver this dead baby she was carrying.

What a nightmare!

It actually was a blessing that I saw her because she called lots of local people and got the word out so everyone started praying for me. I was so thankful because I couldn't pray for myself!

I remember at the hospital, I was given these "wipes" to clean myself. My WHOLE body! Arms, legs, chest, etc. It was awful! They smelled and felt sticky. I was so mad that I had to do all of this with no reward at the end. I looked at Gib and said, "WE ARE DONE! We are never doing this again!" (Isn't it funny how time heals...I'm not completely healed by any means, but I've come such a long way. I'm open to having another if it's God's will for our lives).

I was surprised that I was given the choice of general anesthesia for my c-section. Just another situation where the baby was not a concern...I felt there was so little that I could do, I could at least be awake and somewhat be a part of his birth, even though it would be silent.

If I'm totally honest, the whole time I was being prepped, and even as I was on the operating table, I was hoping they were wrong. I knew that wasn't the case. I had seen the stillness of Grady's heart on the ultrasound. But there was part of me that couldn't help but HOPE that he was still alive.

The silence in that c-section room was deafening... No cry to be heard when the nurse anesthetist told me that Dr. Joe had the baby out.

My worst fear had come true...my baby boy that I had worked SOOO hard to keep safe and in my womb was gone...

That's my story of "waiting"...

Love,
Tonya

A Queen (but not the kind you think!)

So, I'm shifting gears today. Not sure why. I just feel like it!



Today's Wednesday's Walk comes from my early days in nursing school. A short story that, looking back on it, makes me laugh!

I knew I wanted to be a nurse. I started out at a local community school, taking my core curriculum. When it came time to apply to nursing school, I only applied to one. What would have happened if I wasn't accepted? I'm not sure because I honestly didn't have a back-up plan. I knew that I wanted to go to Georgia Baptist College of Nursing. I applied and thankfully, I was accepted!

So, fast forward through some basic fundamental nursing classes to my first morning of clinicals. This clinical was no big deal. Only the basics needed to be done that day...take some vital signs, give a bath, make sure my patient ate breakfast, and so forth. We weren't even administering any meds that day. How hard could it be?

For me it wasn't hard. No. I was just a nervous wreck! One big ball of nerves!

I was born and raised in Atlanta but have always hated driving in the Buckhead/Peachtree Rd area. That's exactly where the hospital was. Maybe you've heard of it, Piedmont Hospital? Anyway, that's beside the point.

First morning of clinicals, I woke up bright and early. I made sure I had my stethoscope (that was really all I needed since I would only be taking a blood pressure), and I tried to eat breakfast, but I just couldn't. I felt like I was going to puke. I was honestly that nervous!

Dressed in my beautiful, sporty, hip, all white nursing dress that we were required to wear (you know, the old fashioned kind with the zipper up the front and the collar around the neck?). Yep. That kind. I headed out the door. But I needed one more thing...

A Dramamine.

Yes. I was that nervous! My stomach was in knots. I was just sure I would be sick if I didn't take one.

So, off to Piedmont I went. I survived the drive down there. Clinical went great. I had a sweet old man as a patient. I think he froze as I was bathing him, but he just smiled the whole time. I think he was just glad to have someone to talk to...

Four years later, at graduation time, we had a party at a local bar/restaurant. Two classmates had printed out "certificates" for everyone. Betcha can't guess what I was awarded....?

"Dramamine Queen"!

For the record...that was the only time I took a Dramamine before a clinical!

Thanks for walkin' with me today!

Love,
Tonya

Waiting

Waiting.

That's what I'm doing.

Waiting for direction from the Lord...

Have you heard the song from Fireproof called "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller?

I had a meeting Friday at the hospital for the perinatal loss/bereavement committee that I'm a part of. I heard the song on the way there AND on the way home. The lyrics struck me...and I realized that's exactly what I'm doing.

Waiting.

And while I'm waiting on Him, I'll continue to praise Him...

What am I waiting for?

Lots of things.

Direction and discernment regarding complicated decisions about my life.

Our lives.

But I want the answers to come from Him. I want to know that the next steps are His will for my life. Not hasty decisions that I make on a whim, just because I feel like that's what I want or what I should do.

I want His will for my life.

You see, I'm at sort of a crossroads in my life.

According to the plan that I had for my life, I should have my two beautiful girls and a seven month old baby boy to take care of. Juggling "older girl activities" while changing dirty diapers, nursing around the clock (maybe not around the clock at this point, but frequently during the day, at least), sitting in a high chair, eating solid foods, two naps during the day, sitting up, rolling over, fun time in the Baby Einstein activity center (that still sits in the closet), walks in the stroller...you get the idea.

That was my plan. I thought it was His plan, too. But it wasn't.

I'm slowly coming to terms with this. And let me tell you, it's not easy!

I'm reading a great little book called, "Still To Be Born - a guide for bereaved parents who are making decisions about their future". There's a quote in it that jumped off the page at me...

"When an infant dies your future is put on hold until you can come to terms with your past".

That's what I'm doing. Coming to terms with my past.

Grady was perfect. Grady died. Is it not the will of God for us to have more children?

I don't know. I honestly don't know.

Is it time for me to move forward and close this chapter of my life?

Should we try again?

Should we not try again and just be thankful for the two beautiful girls we've been blessed with on this earth?

Is it time for me to decide what I want to do professionally and get a "real" job? (I do have a BSN degree that sits dormant, waiting to be put to good use.)

I feel strongly that I'm supposed to do something in the area of perinatal loss. Myself and another NICU nurse are very passionate about a position being created for us as "perinatal loss coordinators" to be with families who are "in crisis", in the midst of a loss, to educate the staff on sensitivity and how to better care for these families, to be a liason and advocate for these most confused families who are in shock, facing difficult decisions. But, we're facing road blocks that are discouraging. We will not give up easily, but...

I'm waiting.

To see how the Lord really wants to use Grady's life and death to impact others. I can't let his life be a waste. It was too important. HE was too important! I have to use this experience to somehow reach out to others who are hurting in similar circumstances. I'm just not exactly sure what that is...yet.

So, I'm waiting...

I need to schedule an appointment with Dr. Joe to discuss, in detail, my history, my uterus, my chances (ie. statistics), my age, etc. I have so many questions. So many fears. Those fears won't go away just by talking to him. But having as much information as possible will be helpful. Then comes LOTS of prayer.

What's next in my life? Our lives?

I'm not sure. But in the meantime...

I'll wait.

On Him.

For His will to be done...

And I'll continue to praise Him. I'll run this race of life and not grow faint. I'll remain hopeful for what He has in store for me. I'll serve and worship Him...

...while patiently, I wait.

--------------------

Here are the lyrics, if you want to read them.

"While I'm Waiting" by John Waller (from www.justsomelyrics.com)

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord

Just in case you've never heard the song and would like to, you can listen to it by clicking play (don't forget to mute the music at the bottom of this page first!).



Love,
Tonya

Short and Sweet

I have several posts circulating around in this here scattered brain of mine. But today, I have decided to be short and sweet.

I want to share with you something that Emma Grace said Thursday night.

While she was having dessert, I was making a short grocery list for Friday. For some reason, she added eggs to my list. Then she added her and Jessica's name to the list because she wanted them to go with me.

I was going to stop by Walmart on my way home from a meeting at the hospital yesterday and told her I couldn't get eggs at Walmart. I only buy organic eggs from Kroger. Well, they don't necessarily have to come from Kroger. That just happens to be our local grocery store. But, they do have to be organic, free-range eggs. Picky? Yes. But that's okay in my book. Picky is better when it comes to certain things. Eggs being one of them, in my opinion.

Sorry...I got side-tracked! Happens easily to me, it seems...

Then I said to her, "And I can't buy you and Jessica because the two of you are priceless!"

Her reply...

"Yep. We don't even have a bar code!"

I have no idea where she even knows about bar codes (maybe from scanning items in the self-checkout line), but I have to tell you that it gave me a good laugh. A belly laugh that I very much needed!

--------------------

Gib got a last-minute call last night to go trout fishing this morning. Luckily, we didn't already have plans, so he was able to go. He's already back, catching flies on the sofa. I can't stand how easily he can just fall asleep...wherever, whenever. It drives me crazy!

Us girls were at the pool when it opened this morning. We stayed until a little after 1pm. We've had lunch. They've showered and are waiting to play with their friend next door. I'm finishing this post, so I can get a bit of cleaning done.

But before I go, here are a few pictures of them in the pool today.







Oh, and just one more cute thing. I got dressed Thursday, and Emma Grace had to dress as close to me as she could. Daddy thought it was cute and captured the moment. Please ignore the dirty lunch dishes behind us, but please do notice the careful attention she took in being just like me...including a necklace and a bracelet on her left arm.




Have a great weekend!

Love,
Tonya

Second Trip To Disney, June 2008

I'm definitely late in starting my post today! I'm curious to see what time I'll actually finish...right now it's 4:39pm. I'll have to stop to make dinner, clean the dishes, and get all of my pictures up, which takes me absolutely forever! So...I'll let you know what time I finish at the end of the post!




I chose our second trip to Disney as my Wednesday's Walk today because we were there exactly one year ago! It was a great vacation! I will share as much as I can with you, but I can't share everything because there is just too much!

I need to preface this memory with a tiny, but important, piece of information. I spent this trip to Disney not only in the heat and pregnant with Baby Grady (not yet knowing he was a boy) but also with a broken toe! Yep...I broke my toe three days before we were leaving, and my husband re-injured it the morning we left. (That's another post in and of itself!)

Even though I was in a lot of pain, and could only take Tylenol, I was determined that I would NOT let it ruin our trip. And it didn't! (However, it wasn't so fun that Gib was constantly at least 50 feet ahead of his hobbling, pregnant wife, scoping out our next adventure! He's the biggest kid of us all when we're at Disney!)

For this trip we stayed at one of Disney's properties, the Caribbean Beach Resort. It was great because once we parked our van, we didn't get back in it until it was time to leave.



Our Disney trip didn't officially start until Sunday, June 15th, Father's Day. We drove down the day before, on Saturday, and stayed in a cheap hotel nearby. That was the night that I spent at the "Quick Care" getting my toe x-rayed. I thought I should know if it was really broken or not before I spent a week walking on it. And, indeed, it was!

Gib recalls that Father's Day as being GREAT! (I love that he has such a great, special memory, too!) Here's a picture of Daddy and his girls....a storm was coming, just in case you're wondering about the fly-away hair! (This was actually later that night after dinner)



We were able to check into our room early and headed straight to Epcot. This is where we discovered our family's favorite ride...Soarin'.

It was GREAT! The girls wanted to go back and ride it several times, but the line was tremendously long. We waited for almost an hour to ride it the first time. We had a "princess dinner" reservation that night at Akershus in the Germany part of Epcot. The food was delicious and the girls were enthralled with the princesses! (There were more than two, but I picked their favorites to share!)





After dinner, we found a great spot by the lake to watch the fireworks, and they were beautiful. Turns out, we could see them at night from where we stayed, just a short walk from our room!



The next day we headed to Animal Kingdom and Magic Kingdom. We spent the morning and early afternoon at Animal Kingdom. It was fun but probably not our favorite of the parks. I was bummed that I couldn't do the Animal Safari because of being pregnant, but I think that was the highlight for the girls.

Here's a picture of the family at the Animal Kingdom entrance. (note the boot on my left foot!)



We had the "bright idea" that we would all go back to the room to take a nap. Therefore, the girls would be able to stay later in the park. The nap backfired BIG TIME! It took them forever to go to sleep and not long after they did, it was time to get up again. We had a dinner reservation at Cinderella's Castle in Magic Kingdom. It was really cool to be at the top of the castle you see when you first walk into the gates, but here's a little tip....the food wasn't that good at dinner, Cinderella is only there for pictures before your dinner, and the Fairy Godmother and Mice aren't really that personable coming from table to table. I hear breakfast in the castle is awesome - we hope to do that the next time we go. (We were late in reserving our character meals. We were thankful for what we could get on such late notice, but Disney is definitely a "live-and-learn" adventure!)

Me and my girls, waiting to be called for dinner.



Cinderella and the girls.



The girls and one of the mice.



Dessert was the best part of the meal!




After dinner, we rode some rides, like Dumbo and It's a Small World. Here we are on Dumbo...




We stayed for the fireworks. We thought we had great seats until the fireworks started. Then we realized.....the fireworks are shot off from behind the castle! We could still see them, but not great. Another live-and-learn moment. They didn't start until 10pm, so we were pooped by the time we got back to our room.

We spent Tuesday at Magic Kingdom doing who knows what!?!?! Everything we could I'm sure! One thing I know the girls did was the race cars with their daddy!



Tuesday night, we had a reservation for dinner at Rainforest Cafe in Animal Kingdom. We went a little early and rode a couple of rides that we didn't get to the day before. We LOVE the food at the Rainforest Cafe! Of course, the girls had to spend some money in the gift shop before we left!



Wednesday, we went back and spent the day at Epcot. The girls just couldn't wait to ride Soarin' again! First, Gib raced to the ride to get a "fast-pass". (If you don't know what that is, you get a ticket or "pass" to come back at a certain time, by-passing the long line). The girls REALLY wanted to ride it twice. So....we waited in line to ride it. Rode it. Got off. Used our fast-pass and went right back in! SOOO much fun!



If you've never heard of Soarin' or don't know what it is, basically you are in a HUGE I-Max theatre. You get in chairs (you must take your flip-flops off first!), the lights go out, and the chairs are lifted to different levels. The ride takes you on a "flight" over California's natural wonders, like a river, through the evergreens, over a golf course, through a big city, through ice-covered mountains, etc. Your chairs tilt, wind is blown on you, and even the smell of evergreens is emitted as you're going through that part. VERY COOL!

We spent Thursday at Hollywood Studios (formerly MGM). Jessica loves High School Musical (and so do I, but shhhh! don't tell anyone!). We got a great seat for the parade that came through, and Jessica even got to go up and "dance" with them. She didn't really want to. I sort of made her. If I hadn't been pregnant and looked like a really big fool, I might have gotten up and danced, too!



(Can't you tell she's having such a great time!)

We ate lunch at Hollywood and Vine. The food was delicious, and the characters were fun too!






That night we took the ferry to another resort to have dinner. The ferry ride was fun and downtown Disney was beautiful at night!



We came back to our room to find this in our window. The cleaning crew took the stuffed animal that Jessica bought her Daddy at Rainforest Cafe and hung it in our window. CUTE!



Friday was our last day. We checked out of our room and spent the morning at Magic Kingdom again. The Pirates of the Caribbean ride was closed earlier in the week, so that was our main reason in going back. We rode some other rides, too and watched the "Dreams Come True" show in front of the castle.





When we reached our "hot and tired" point, we left to head to my friend Mary Beth's for the weekend. She used to live only 20 minutes from the entrance to Disney, and we stayed with her the year before when we went on our first trip.

It was a great trip! One we'll never forget! We hope to go back and make more memories soon!

By the way.....the day we left and went to Mary Beth's.....soon after we got there.....sitting and chatting on the sofa.....is the first time I felt Baby Grady kick me!

Wonderful memories.....this time last year! Broken toe and all!

Thanks for walking with me today! (PS. It is now 9:26pm and I'm done! I just have to link to Lynnette's Mr. Linky! Have a great night!)

Love,
Tonya

Teddy-gram

I received a very special "teddy-gram" in the mail yesterday!

Gib came in with a HUGE box. It was from our Aunt Barbara. I say "our" because by blood she is his aunt . . . but by the love in our hearts and the friendship we have, she's my aunt, too!

She is a very special woman. She has a heart of gold and will do absolutely anything for anyone . . . She was the one who came to take me to the hospital the morning that my water broke at 23 weeks with Emma Grace. She has watched my girls countless times, whether it was for me to go visit Emma Grace in the hospital or teach a postpartum class for new moms. She has loved every minute with them, and she loves them like her own! And I might add, she never had children of her own. Her great nieces (not just my girls but their other cousins, as well) have been the children she never had. But, oh, what a wonderful mom she would have been!

She is also very talented. She has embroidered many things for my girls over the years, including bibs, onesies, towels and even teddy bears.

When Jessica was two, she gave this to her.



It is a bear that she made herself. Yes, she cut out the arms, legs, body, and stuffed it just right. She even made and personalized the fleece shirt that says "Jessica's Bear Hug".

We were instructed to read a note before we could open the package from her. To sum it up, last September she was looking for something different to sew. She remembered the bear she had made for Jessica and decided she would make one for Emma Grace and Grady. After cutting and sewing several pieces and putting them in bags that she thought she wouldn't lose, she realized she had accidentally thrown away her work up to that point. She is very easy-going and thought, "I'll just start over". But before she could start over, she wrote, "God took Grady to heaven". She was so upset by his death that she didn't have the desire to sew for a long time.

When she was finally ready, she knew she was going to make Emma Grace a bear, but she now struggled with the decision to make a bear for Grady.

I have always heard her say, and she also wrote, "The wonderful thing about sewing something for someone is you get to think about them while you make it". I'm not a sewer, but how true!

She wrote in her letter what a blessing Emma Grace is to her and how she's thankful that God's plan allowed her to be here on earth with us, what a miracle she is and how great it is to love her and be loved by her. Here is her bear, which she slept with last night . . . beautiful indeed!





Still she was torn over what to do about Grady's teddy, but in the end she decided to do it! But it had to be "one-of-a-kind". She had a strong feeling that it had to be golden in color because he is a "golden boy". Aunt Barbara shopped all over town, ordered materials on-line, and after a lot of trial and error, she put together a very beautiful bear for him.

It wasn't easy, though, because the material for parts of his bear were thick and heavy. She had to work especially hard on it, and she said she was thankful for that. She was able to think of Grady while making the bear. She said that because of the time that had passed since his death, she "could have peaceful and happy thoughts of Grady". She went on to list some of the "G's" in Grady's life that came to her while making the bear:

G - God's child, created with God's love.
G - Grady Thomas - precious son and brother.
G - Glory Baby, now in God's hands and in our hearts.
G - Golden boy, child more precious than gold.

Yes, I cried. Almost the ugly cry. Gib cried. Silently, with tears streaming down his face.

I called her yesterday to say thank you. But, she is a faithful reader of my blog.

Dear Aunt Barbara,

Thank you so much for taking a chance, following your heart and making a bear for Baby Grady. I loved on it yesterday, and it is sitting in Grady's crib. I will forever treasure it, a gift that you made straight from your heart. Thank you so much for taking the time, putting forth the effort and energy to make it so very beautiful and perfect. I wish he was here to enjoy it himself, but I will enjoy it for him. You are a blessing to me and such a special part of my life. I love you more than you'll ever know!

Here are some pictures of Grady's bear.






Gib took this picture of the bear with my coveted blanket that I sleep with.



All three bears together in my glider rocker.



This is the bear's home for now. Until I take Grady's room down . . .



Hope you've enjoyed my special "teddy-gram"! Have a great day!

Love,
Tonya