tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6526766004112404235.post1581094750461089378..comments2023-08-01T09:01:09.440-04:00Comments on Tonya Talk: UntitledTonyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01573072091399987210noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6526766004112404235.post-87953282304902248242009-08-10T20:35:53.729-04:002009-08-10T20:35:53.729-04:00Tonya, you are not a terrible person. I feel the s...Tonya, you are not a terrible person. I feel the same way all the time. And not only when a new baby is born. I feel jealous when I see my husband's neice, who is older than Caleb. I feel jealous when I see parents with toddlers and pre-schoolers and even high-schoolers. I just want MY son. The same way you want little Grady. I'm sorry we have have to deal with this. You will be in my prayers tonight. <br /><br />With Love, SummerSummerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15172496828544975617noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6526766004112404235.post-2045007771792663772009-08-10T20:07:50.779-04:002009-08-10T20:07:50.779-04:00Thank you again for your honesty. I struggle with ...Thank you again for your honesty. I struggle with this as well, particularly at church for some reason. Praying for you!<br /><br />CeciliaCeciliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06295293307771882688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6526766004112404235.post-35708037316642636612009-08-10T16:26:04.296-04:002009-08-10T16:26:04.296-04:00Tonya,
My heart is breaking for you right now. I ...Tonya,<br /><br />My heart is breaking for you right now. I wish so badly I could change the outcome of this story. <br /><br />I encourage you to share your feelings - I applaud you for having the guts to say out loud what so many of us think, but fake on a daily basis.<br />For those of us that know your heart, no one could ever judge you. God gave us lots of emotions; you are just experiencing alot of them at the same time. I pray for the day when you are once again living instead of existing. <br /><br />Luke 17:19 - They faith hath made me whole. <br /><br />Your faith will once again make you whole. Remember our God is "an on time God"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6526766004112404235.post-78251502326375801632009-08-10T13:52:00.233-04:002009-08-10T13:52:00.233-04:00Hi, I stumbled upon your blog through my friend...Hi, I stumbled upon your blog through my friend's. I just wanted to say that you are NOT a terrible person for having these thoughts. I can't even fathom what you've gone through & it's only normal that you would be envious of someone delivering a healthy baby boy. Try to cut yourself a break; beating yourself up over these thoughts will only increase your stress & sadness.<br /><br />Hang in there. I'll keep you in my thoughts & prayers.Allisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17662391036247560875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6526766004112404235.post-140879390098819002009-08-10T13:36:16.673-04:002009-08-10T13:36:16.673-04:00Hi Tonya~
First, I just want to say that I pray f...Hi Tonya~<br /><br />First, I just want to say that I pray for you and Gib often. I've talked to my husband about you, and told him how I have found comfort in reading your blog. It is very normal the way you are feeling. I totally understand!! <br /><br />Last week I was at the Post office standing in line and there was a newborn baby crying. I got teared up just listening to the cry and it's been 5 years since I lost my baby. I never got to even hear Kyler cry. It's so hard!! At this very moment my heart has been heavy from missing another one of Kyler's milestones--kindergarten. Yet, it is my prayer that you and I and all the grieving moms out there seek and savor our Savior, our first Love. My passion for Christ was born from the pain and sorrow of losing Kyler. <br /><br />Keep pouring out your feelings. There are so many hurting people in this fallen world and many of them who don't have a relationship with Jesus, therefore no hope of heaven like we do. <br /><br />Just know that I continue to lift you up to our loving Father.<br /><br />Love & prayers,<br />JenniferAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15582919223149213705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6526766004112404235.post-77597752338463785472009-08-10T08:48:58.878-04:002009-08-10T08:48:58.878-04:00You are NOT a terrible person! I've been ther...You are NOT a terrible person! I've been there quite a few times too and even though we have another baby on the way, there's not guarantee I'm not going to feel that way again, the next time another baby is born healthy. This post sounds so much like one of mine from back in April when one of my friends had a beautiful baby girl in a wonderful homebirth. All I could think is, why not me? I see her daughter weekly and she's always a reminder to me of what I don't have. Praying for you Tonya, but please know what you're feeling is NORMAL for a grieving mommy, in fact if you didn't have these emotions, I might wonder if you were grieving in a "healthy way" as weird as that sounds. It's what you do with those emotions that matters. ("In your anger, do not sin") Pour out your sadness and jealousy to Jesus! Someday I pray we can rejoice at the birth of another healthy baby and at the same time rejoice that our children are happy and whole in Heaven. <br />Love,<br />RachelRachelhttp://rachelontherange.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6526766004112404235.post-10107799248215897842009-08-10T07:41:10.888-04:002009-08-10T07:41:10.888-04:00For the record, I don't think you are a terrib...For the record, I don't think you are a terrible person. If all of us were honest, I think we would all be shocked at some of the heart emotions that we are all hiding for fear of sounding like a terrible person. Only God's grace can bring beauty out of our hearts. And God's grace is at work... in both of us. <br /><br />You are loved. You are prayed for. And I wish that made everything better. God is able to make all grace abound to you...Amy Ellenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03236051477051468876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6526766004112404235.post-49227812447158633922009-08-10T00:09:10.141-04:002009-08-10T00:09:10.141-04:00Oh Tonya,
I could never think you were terrible, o...Oh Tonya,<br />I could never think you were terrible, otherwise I would be the same terrible person. Everything that you said resonated with me completely. It is so hard to not be jealous when our situation turned out so the opposite. There have been probably 15 babies born at church since Samuel. Everytime I hear there is another born, I hate to admit but that is always a worse day for me. It is so hard to be around all of the celebrating and excitement, when I remember clearly how it felt (And still feels) to be avoided and have people be so uncomfortable around me for months... many months. It is just so hard... so so hard when our ending was so the opposite of the excitement and celebrating. <br /><br />Tonya my heart breaks for you tonight... Sometimes I just wonder when will I get over the hump and it will get easier... I don't know if you ever feel that way. But I was telling people at my 20 year reunion last night that I will probably be 75 and still be crying over my precious boy. But Tonya, that is what we are, mommies who love deeply and miss deeply their sweet babies. You are a wonderful mama. <br /><br />I was just inspecting that picture you have on the side bar of Grady. He is beautiful, just precious... such pretty lips. I am missing him with you tonight. Tonya, I am storming the gates of heaven on your behalf right now. Keep giving the hurt to him, He is here with you even when you can't see HIM. Tonya I am here for you. I mean it, if you ever need to talk to someone for real on the phone, not just blogland:) <br /><br />Sending hugs!<br />saraSarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17679265370655421932noreply@blogger.com