Happy New Year!

How did you spend New Year's Eve?

For the past three years, we've spent it with our friends and neighbors, but the party went on without us last night. Nicole has started a blog so hop over here to say hi.

We took Jessica to an overnight party that she really wanted to go to. She has made some amazing new friends this year, and I didn't want to deny her the opportunity to have fun with them outside of school. I missed having her with us, but believe me, I heard from her A LOT! She had a blast and didn't go to bed until about 5:30 this morning. She took a nap today, and I joined her.

Sigh.

Here she is before going. She is beautiful, isn't she?





Gib, Emma Grace and I went to dinner and stayed home. I wanted Johnny's pizza; Emma Grace wanted mexican. Who do you think won? Yep...Emma Grace! We came home, I painted her fingernails and we snuggled up on my bed to watch "Tinkerbell and The Lost Treasure". Gib watched football (can we say enough already?!) and we were all happy. This may not be your idea of a fun New Year's Eve, but I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Emma Grace kicked Daddy out of his own bed and continued the sleepover with me.

Gib never takes pictures but showed up with the camera. My apologies in advance...in my pj's, glasses and no makeup! (and of course, my Baby Grady blanket!)



I couldn't help but reflect on our New Year's Eve from last year, 2008. I knew Christmas was going to be hard without Grady, and I had prepared myself as much as I could emotionally. I did not, however, expect New Year's to be so hard. We went next door and just going was a challenge. I got there and told Nicole that I might not be able to stay. In my mind, I should have been home with my six week old baby, not at a party. I made it, but at midnight, I was overcome with emotion. I hugged and kissed my husband and two girls, told them Happy New Year and fled to the bathroom. Bawling my eyes out. I felt like I was saying goodbye all over again to Grady. 2008 had been a year all about him. Finding out in March I was pregnant with him. Delivering him in November. It was Grady's year, and it didn't turn out the way we hoped.

I didn't want it to be a new year. I wanted to start that year over again. Redo it and have a different outcome.

Seeing as how that just wasn't an option, I plunged into 2009 and did the best that I could. It held many "firsts" which I'm thankful to be past. At the same time, it makes me sad because that simply means more time has passed since I held my baby boy. I know people think I could have done better. But those are the ones who haven't experienced the unspeakable loss of a baby or child. Who have not been in my shoes. Some did a great job of meeting me where I was. Some tried to speed me along. Some have simply disappeared which makes me very sad. But the Lord has used my blog to bring some amazing people into my life in 2009 who, unfortunately, do understand my loss and grief that continues even today.

We were very blessed in 2009 with our love for one another, good health and plenty of happiness mixed in with the sad. But I'm hopeful and prayerful that 2010 is going to be even better. A great year for our family. A year of new beginnings. A time of change that, hopefully, will be good. A time of reflection and meeting the challenge to deepen my relationship with the Lord, trusting Him and seeking His will. Striving to be a better mom each day. Using my time more wisely. Spending more time with those who really mean the most to me.

I'm trying not to make any resolutions this year because I always let myself down by not keeping them. In addition to the above, I do want to get my house better organized and keep it that way. I don't have a cleaning schedule and desperately need to create one. The problem is that I've created them before, but then I don't stick with it. My social life, including my blog, tends to get in the way of housework, so I think some priorities need a little shift this year.

And before I go, Emma Grace lost her second front tooth today. It was a bit crooked and needed to come out, don't you think? This was earlier today.



Just before her shower, Daddy yanked it out.



I have to say that I'm very impressed with Daddy as he is very squeamish when it comes to loose teeth and this is the second one he has pulled during this break. Maybe he needs some new excitement in his life, huh?

Happy New Year to you, my faithful and wonderful readers!!!

Love,
Tonya